Comatose
by Kaia-Rhea
Summary: For so long, Kirsty has struggled to remain afloat, her abusive husband keeping a hold over her life, and with no one to turn to. But what happens when she falls over the edge?
1. Chapter 1

_At what point did I stop loving him? That's the question that always seems to be on my mind nowadays. Maybe it was the first time I properly looked into Adam's eyes, and realised that they held more love for me then Warren's ever did. Maybe it was the first time I kissed him, pressed my lips against his, feeling the tender touch of his hand around my waist.  
Maybe it was the first time Warren hit me, slammed his closed fist into my stomach, and watched me writhe in pain._

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.   
Kirsty groaned, lifting her head at the irritating sound of her alarm clock. She turned it round to face her in the hopes that the time was wrong- it wasn't. Slipping out from the bed covers, she cast a glance over to her still-sleeping husband, who was lying on his side with his hand still shaped into a fist. Sighing, she pulled her pyjama top over her head, not sparing a look for the pattern of bruises that was forming along her ribcage and lower back. She ran a hand through her brunette curls, frowning as the the night before's happenings became fresh in her mind.  
She popped her head round Nita's door to see if the teenager was awake, half wishing that she was up just so she could see a friendly face and a smile before heading out to work. But no such luck, so she trailed down the stairs, yawning after a long and mostly sleepless night.  
She skipped out on breakfast, replacing it instead with a couple of painkillers to try and shift the dull ache her battered body gave out, and left the house to go to Holby.

_When we took our marriage vows, Warren promised to love me forever. Through thick and thin, no matter what. He held my hands in his own and told me that despite our differences, despite what life threw at us, he knew deep down in his heart that his love for me would never lessen.  
Tonight, his stare into my eyes was just as intense as it had been on the day of our wedding. But tonight, they held no traces of passion, and instead were tinged with anger and hatred.  
I lifted my shirt up whilst stood in front of the bathroom mirror, and stared, almost entranced, at the various bruises on my skin, cluttered together in a patchwork of brutality.  
He promised to love me forever.  
But can this be described as love?_

Tess  
"Has anyone seen Kirsty?" I asked for what felt like the dozenth time, only to be met with a familiar sea of shaking heads. I sighed impatiently, drawing back the curtains of a nearby cubicle to see if she was with a patient.  
I was almost at the end of my tether with Kirsty- she had been driving me mad all week with her apparent inability to show up for her shifts on time. I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't her usual self at the time, but that wasn't an excuse for her being constantly late. I was so caught up in my aggravation that I barely noticed the girl clad in scrubs before me. I crashed into her, knocking the coffee from her hands. It spilt all over the floor and we both stared at it for a couple of seconds before I registered who it was I'd bumped in to.  
"Kirsty." she looked up at me, worry and a hint of pain mingled in her expression. Some of the piping hot coffee had gotten onto her trousers. I tutted, as if it were her fault.  
"Look where you're going please Kirsty. You'd better get out of those scrubs, and once you're changed you need to come and see me in my office. Understood?" she opened her mouth, but then closed it again as if she was biting back some retort, and nodded. "Good." I left her to it.

_I don't think it's the beatings that's the worst thing. I have learned to block out the majority of the pain. No, it's the rest of the world that's the problem. On some level I always seem to think that everyone will know when I need leniency, when I need them to go easy on me and not expect too much. But I haven't told anybody, so how can I expect them to understand? I'd just get the same answers from them anyway.  
'Call the police' or 'You know I'm here if you ever need to talk'. Always the default response, but never enough. _

_I guess that's what scares me. That I'll confide in someone, trust my whole life with them, and nothing'll change._

"Are you hungry?" I walked into the kitchen and bent down to open a cupboard. With Nita gone, the house was quiet, and the atmosphere was more than tense. "I can make you something." Warren didn't look up. He was staring at the counter.  
"What are you sorry for?" I stood up slowly, confusion and doubt flowing through my bloodstream.  
"What?"  
"What are you" he pushed my phone towards me. On the screen was the text I had sent to Adam earlier. "Sorry for?" he looked up at me, an accusative glare on his face. Tears started to form in my eyes.  
"We both know what's coming, don't we?" I let out a shallow laugh, my expression grim. "So why don't you just get on with it?" He looked back at the counter for a second, as if deciding what to do with me. He slammed his fist into my stomach, and I let out a winded gasp. I tried to catch my breath, clinging onto his arm, my mouth shaped like an 'O'. It hurt so badly; all my mind could do was focus on the searing, blinding pain in my abdomen. I dropped to my knees, still clinging on to Warren's arm. He wrenched it from my grip as I fell to the floor, and for what felt like hours (but in reality was only a couple of minutes) he watched as I writhed in pain. Eventually, he yanked me up by my hair, wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me out of the kitchen. I struggled, but his ex-fireman's strength prevented me from escaping. His free hand hit me in the ribs or in the small of my back time and time again as he dragged me up the stairs, and a few tears dribbled down my cheeks. When we were on the landing, he pinned me up against the door frame to Nita's bedroom.

"Do you love him?" he hissed. I whimpered quietly, opening my mouth to say 'no, of course not'. But no words came, no lies that would calm the storm. Of course, my silence gave me away, and he snarled, pushing me up closer against the frame and biting down on my lip. I cried out as blood started to trickle down my chin, but he slapped me across the face and told me to 'shut it'. I did as I was told, and he pulled me past Nita's room into our own, tossing me down onto the bed. I looked up at him, my eyes wide with panic. He ran a hand through his slick hair, and clenched his fists.  
"You're _mine, _you hear me? Nobody else gets to touch you." His calmness terrified me, and I shook my head wildly as I realised what he was about to do. He started to undo the belt buckle on his jeans, and slowly pulled out the strip of leather. _Surely he wouldn't? _I thought. "Undress." he spat at me as he fiddled with the button on his trousers, and I shook my head again.  
"N-no... You can't!" he laughed menacingly, his lips stretched tightly. He suddenly raised the belt up in the air, and brought it cracking down onto my thighs. Even through the material of my jeans, it stung crazily, causing me to cry out. Pushing his boxers down to join his jeans, Warren straddled me. I gasped under his weight and struggled as he smashed his lips against my own. My memory fled back to the night I had kissed Adam in the toilets of a pub; recalling the way his kiss had been so gentle and loving compared to my husband's. He'd told me that this 'wasn't me', and on some level I agreed with him. Maybe it wasn't just sex I was looking for.  
Maybe it was someone to hold me close, to tell me that they care. Maybe it was to feel the warmth from a pair of arms used for love, not lust.  
Maybe I just wanted him to lift my shirt over my head and see all the marks on my body.

Maybe I wanted him to save me.

_**A/N: Hey, if you're reading this then you have my appreciation. :D I'm not sure how much response this will get, as I've read a few of other fics similar to this one on here, and I don't want it to seem like I copied them- I didn't.  
One of the stories about Kirsty I really liked was by 'Kirsty-C'. I feel like I should mention her as she really is a fantastic writer, and I hope that one day I can write with the same passion and integrity as her (:**_

_**Until then though, thanks so much for reading this; it's probably shit but I spent a long time doing it.  
Reviews are always appreciated, and are in fact my fuel for continuing stories.  
Oh, and I know the chronological order in this fic may seem confusing... But it will all play out in the end.**_

_**Ta! **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Okay, firstly; I was really worried that I wouldn't get any feedback on this. I actually went away from the night and I had a weird feeling that when I got home I'd find that no one had reviewed or anything, but I'm so happy with the amount of reviews I got. They mean a lot to me! Yeah, so thank you all for that.  
I spent a long time searching for romantic songs to use in this chapter. I was thinking about 'Your Song' by Elton John/Ellie Goulding, but it's used quite a lot now it's popular again. So the lyrics are 'I do it for you' by Bryan Adams.**_

* * *

I sat cross-legged on the floor, tears spilling down my face. I was surrounded by the various photo albums that marked keystones in my life, and the one I was staring intently at was of our wedding. We looked so happy, so free. Love filled our expressions, and our body language backed this up.  
But why shouldn't we have done? Our relationship was healthy back then.

_When we were sixteen, I found out that I was pregnant. I was scared, SO scared. The moment I told Warren, he left me- he didn't want 'spoiled goods'.  
That same night he appeared on my doorstep, belting out the words to my favourite song. I cried so hard; not because I was upset, but because that night, I felt like I was worth something.  
I felt loved._

_Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for._

_You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for._

_You know it's true;_

_Everything I do - I do it for you._

* * *

**_Adam  
_**The definition of beautiful: Having qualities that delight the sense of sight.

You are kind. You don't judge me, because you know how it feels to be overwhelmed. You have a smile that could wipe the frown from anybody's face, and a laugh that makes you seem as if you are lit up from the inside. You give hugs that make people want to hang on, to never let go for fear that the magic stops when they do. You are talented, and you work hard to get the things you really want. You are not boastful, nor too modest. You are tactful, but not overly so. You make me laugh, even when I'm having a bad day. You aren't at all stuck up, and although you don't spend a long time on your appearance, you always look gorgeous. You have lovely big eyes that are tinged with warmth, and could light all the stars in the sky if they were given half a chance. You don't go on about your personal problems, but you know that I'm always here for you- and I love that. You aren't too sensitive; if you think that you stand out from some of the people we know because you're different, then you don't show it. You seem to get along with everybody, and those people who don't like you don't deserve to know you anyway. You don't let small things get you down. You are trustworthy- telling you about the bad things that have happened to me doesn't scare me like it does with other people. You mean so much to me; there are no words to describe how I feel about you, how I feel that the day's been worth it if I get to speak to you. You're one of my favourite people in the whole world, because you are so amazing.  
Because you always do the right thing.  
The real definition of beautiful: You.

_There's no love - like your love_

_And no other - could give more love_

_There's nowhere - unless you're there_

_All the time - all the way._

* * *

Bruises, cuts. Physical pain, _mind-numbing _pain. Punches, shoves, _kisses, caresses_. Name-calling, bitch, whore, _sweetheart.  
_His brutality hurts, so much. His fickle attempts to look gentle and kind, they frustrate me.

But nothing I've ever had to do is as hard as facing up to the fact that despite everything I've done for him, everything I've ever felt for him, he raped me.  
_Raped _me.

I didn't bother calling into work to explain why I didn't show up for my shift; which explains the four hundred missed calls I had when I finally turned my phone back on.  
As soon as Warren had fallen asleep, I slipped out of the house and ran. To nowhere in particular- I just wanted to escape. I ran faster then I ever had before, pelting down the side-roads and finally coming to a halt in the park. I curled up on a bench, tears stinging my eyes, and curled my hands into fists as I screamed out my frustration.  
_Adam... _For so long, I have wanted perfection.  
And when I found it, I threw it all away. Nice going Kirsty.

_Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for _

_I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more _

_I would fight for you - I'd lie for you _

_Walk the wire for you - I'd die for you._

_You know that it's true;_

_Everything I do, I do it for you. _

* * *

_**A/N: Argh, I can't make the words come to my head. So sorry, if this sucks. I tried to make it a long chapter but I failed at that, obviously.  
Adam's little section is from my fictionpress story 'The Definition of Beautiful'- I hope you liked it.**_

_**I'd really appreciate a review, if you have time.  
Thanks!**_

_**Oh, and thanks to Kirsty-C, I now know how to use page breaks! Yay for me! XD **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Wahay, chapter three! I love writing this (: Kirsty's awesome, don't you think?  
Oh, and just so you know; this chapter skips ahead a little.**_

* * *

_23% of women experience sexual assault as an adult.  
__5% of women experience rape.  
__40% of those who are raped tell no one about it.  
__Worldwide, around 2,080,000 women are raped per year.  
__Most perpetrators are male, most victims female.  
__Each reported rape costs society over £76,000.  
__The perpetrator is far more likely to be someone you know than a stranger.  
__Of all the cases of rape reported, in less than 6% of them will the offender be convicted._

_So many numbers, so many lives that have been ruined.  
It's weird to think that I fit somewhere into these statistics.  
I'm just another number. Another life._

* * *

It had been almost three months since that night. Three months since I had nearly lost my job because of him. Three months since I managed to throw away my chance of ever having a real relationship again.

I sat on the toilet lid, staring at the white plastic stick in my hand, my eyes wide but my senses numb. How I hated that little blue cross; for the second time in my life it was filling me with panic and worry.  
What made it worse is that up until that night three months back, me and Warren hadn't made love for a very long time.  
This child wasn't just an unplanned one.  
It was a rape baby.

"Kirst?" the voice brought me out of my reverie, and I quickly wrapped the pregnancy test in some toilet paper before throwing it away in disgust.  
"Yeah?" I called back. I popped my head round the our room's door. Warren was still in bed, surrounded by cushions and means of entertainment.  
"What's wrong?" he asked, having obviously read the look on my face.  
"Oh, nothing. Just about to pop out to work actually." the lies came easily.  
"Ah. Okay. See you later." I nodded, and sighed as I pulled out of the room. Such a normal, healthy conversation- is that how we appeared to outsiders? Just an average couple, free from the chains of abuse and pain. Maybe it's better that way, for us to be wrapped up in our own little bubble- or is it the other way round? At times, it seems like it's the rest of the world that lives in its own perception, and for us the bubble has popped, leaving only the harsh, bitter remnants of reality to face up to.

I've often heard in the news about women who've had their lives as they know it torn apart because they have been raped, and I often wonder; is that how I was supposed to feel? Sure, I felt horrible and dirty, I was sore and hysterical, but while life comes to an abrupt halt for millions of women, why did mine simply carry on as if nothing had happened?  
Maybe it was for my daughter. Maybe it was because I felt I had to protect the person I once was, and not show the scars of a broken woman to the rest of the world.  
Perhaps I shouldn't compare my misfortune to others', but to me it seemed like if anything, I had more right to feel broken and empty than those people who are cornered by a stranger in a dark alleyway. Because those women will never have to see the offender again unless they go to court. They will never have to hear him say their name, wrap his arms around them in a pathetic attempt to seem compassionate, or ask for their help doing things on a daily basis.  
At least those women weren't betrayed by someone they once loved.

* * *

_The first time we made love, Warren was so gentle. He knew it was my first time; because he trusted me enough to know that I would never cheat on him. We cared about each other too much.  
The first time we made love, I was afraid that it would hurt- but I wasn't afraid to tell him so. He cupped my face in his hands, brushing back one of my curls with his thumb.  
"It's okay Kirsty," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear him. "I could never hurt you."_

"Kirsty?" I suddenly became aware of my surroundings again. Doctor Hanna's hand was on my arm, and she was peering into my face in confusion. "Still there?" I blinked a couple of times, and pulled my fist away from my abdomen, where I had absent-mindedly placed it for the majority of the shift.  
"Yeah" I muttered. "Still here."

* * *

_When I was pregnant with Nita, Warren would regularly place his hands on my bulging belly and whisper to her in the hopes that she would start kicking. He would laugh, and say that 'it' was a proper little footballer. I myself often found that I'd unconsciously placed a hand to my stomach, revelling in the fact that my child was growing inside me- the miracle of life._

I was halfway through inserting a patient's line when I felt a familiar feeling well up inside of me. _Uh oh. _I thought. Muttering my excuse to the attending and the patient, I rushed through to the toilets, and threw up noisily over the bowl.  
"Kirsty?" I cursed myself for being so loud as Tess poked her head round into my stall. "Oh, dear..." she leaned forward to pull the hair from my face, and rubbed my back comfortingly. I coughed a few times, then sat back on my heels.  
"Thanks." I mumbled. She smiled, and handed me a tissue.  
"It's no problem. Do you think you're coming down with something?" she put a hand to my forehead, frowning slightly. "You're not too warm... But maybe you should go home, just in case." I shook my head feverishly.  
"No! I mean, I think I just ate something that didn't agree with me, that's all." she narrowed her eyes slightly.  
"Okay, well if you're sure..." I nodded, and she sighed, getting to her feet.  
"Alright then."

_When I went into labour with Nita, Warren did everything for me. He had my bag, already packed, he breathed through the pain with me, and he told me that I could do it when I wanted to give in.  
He was my rock._

* * *

"Adam!" I jogged down the corridor to catch up with him. He turned, and flashed me one of his charming smiles.  
"Hey Kirsty. What's up?" I fiddled nervously with the hem of my sky-blue shirt.  
"I, er... Can I have a quick word?" he raised an eyebrow.  
"Um, sure Kirst. Hang on, let's go to the staff room." I nodded, allowing him to lead me through the unit. "So what did you want to talk about?" he asked, shutting the door behind him. I swallowed apprehensively.  
"Well..." I struggled to find the words. "It's kinda... Complicated." Adam sat in the chair opposite me, pushing a cup of coffee into my hands. I accepted it, smiling gratefully.  
"Yeah? Complicated how?"  
"Um... Well... You won't tell anyone, will you?" he leaned forward, his expression intent and serious. He placed his coffee on the table beside him, instead taking one of my hands in his own.  
"Kirsty, what's happened?" _Just do it, _I told myself, and opened my mouth to speak. _Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep! _We both groaned at the sound of Adam's pager- although inwardly I was relieved.  
"Ugh, sorry Kirst. How about we try this again later?" I nodded, giving him a brief smile. He returned it, and left me to myself in the staff room. I sat back, sighing, and rubbed my hand over my very slightly bulging stomach.

* * *

I gnawed on my fingernail in apprehension. Me and Adam had arranged tomeet at the bar after work; a seemingly ironic place to meet considering what I was about to tell him. I'd ordered a lemonade. It was an innocent drink, but not what I wanted. Not what I craved.  
After a good few minutes of sipping my soft, non-alcoholic drink, I sighed and pushed it aside, ordering a shot of vodka instead- not my favourite drink, but strong and simple. The bartender pushed it towards me, and I downed it in one, choking a little. I ordered another. And another. Finally, a flushed Adam came through the door and sat on the stool beside me, patting me on the shoulder.  
"Sorry I'm late Kirst, that last patient was an absolute nightmare." I nodded, smiling briefly as he ordered his own drink. "So what were you going to say earlier?" I sighed. This was so much harder then I thought it would be. I wondered if I should even tell him. Surely he'd think I was a horrible person if I told him and I'd been drinking? "Kirsty? Are you okay?" he asked softly, his hand on my arm.  
"Excuse me," I muttered, rushing into the toilets. For the second time that day, I threw up, retching over the bowl until my stomach was totally empty. When I'd finished, I curled up against the stool wall, my hands twisted in my lap. Tears spilled down my face as I sobbed away all the hurt. I don't think I was sick because of the alcohol, or the baby. I think it was realising what I'd done by drinking those shots.  
A couple of hours of blessed release could come at a lifetime of costs for my child.

Only minutes later, Adam pushed the door to the toilets open.  
"Kirsty?" he saw me sitting on the floor, crying my eyes out, and rushed to my side. "Kirsty! What happened, are you hurt?" I shook my head, choking out another sob.  
"No... What have I done Adam?" he took my hand and kneeled in front of me.  
"What do you mean? What's happened?" Guilt was welling up inside of me, and the evidence of that showed in my body language.  
"I'm a horrible person Adam!" he put his head on one side, sympathy tracing his features.  
"No... No you're not, Kirst! You're a lovely person!" I shook my head again.  
"I am, I'm horrible! I can't do this anymore Adam!" he grasped my arms, gently shaking me. His eyes were wide and desperate, and worry dripped from his voice.  
"Kirsty, you have to tell me what's happening! I can't help you if you don't tell me what it is!"  
"Warren made me have sex with him, and now I'm pregnant!" I burst out, burying my head in my hands. Stunned silence filled the air, as Adam took in what I'd said. I waited for him to leave me to my guilt as I expected him to.

But instead, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around me, whispering comforts into my ear and rubbing my back in slow circles.  
"Don't worry Kirst." he murmured. "It'll be okay, I'm here."

* * *

_**A/N: Sorry for all the short segments; I suck at doing really long ones (:**_

_**Thanks for reading, reviews are always appreciated! :D**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Thanks to all who've reviewed so far! Woah, four chapters in a few days... O_o I must really like you guys or something! XD  
Just to let you know, the reason I update so often is because I am currently on school holiday (if you couldn't already tell). You should know that I will update far less often when I 'go back'- even when I skip school to take care of my mum when she's really poorly I still study for the majority of the time. I'll try my best to keep up, but please don't expect too much (:  
Anyway, on with chapter four. It's gon' be an Adam-chapter! A fairly short one though :D  
Lyrics are 'Face Down' by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy,_

_One look puts the rhythm in my hand._

_Still I'll never understand why you hang around,_

_I see what's going down._

_Adam  
_I drove home with Kirsty curled up in the passenger seat, crying softly to herself. I think she was almost surprised when I offered to let her come home to stay with me for the night; as if she felt she didn't deserve my kindness. In my opinion, she deserved the world.

"Here we are," I said as I pulled up into the driveway. "Home." Kirsty choked out another sob, and I immediately felt guilty. Where exactly was home for her? Was it the place where she was beaten on a weekly basis? That doesn't sound very much like a home to me, but it was what she was used to. I opened the door for her, and helped her to her feet, putting an arm round her delicate frame to support her. She leant into my grasp, and I smiled sadly at her as I lead her into the house. She looked around the hall with big eyes, the traces of a diminutive smile on her lips.  
"Here, why don't you sit down in the lounge?" I offered. "I'll make some coffee and we can talk." she nodded, saying nothing and refusing to look at me. I gently pushed her through to the living room and made my way into the kitchen, taking down the pot of my best coffee down from a cupboard and filling the kettle.  
"Do you want something to eat?" I poked my head through to the lounge, where Kirsty was curled up in a chair. She shook her head, still not making eye contact.

When I'd poured the coffee, I made my way back to Kirsty, setting a mug down on the coffee table in front of her. "There we are. Nice and strong for you."  
"Thank you" she said quietly. She was no longer crying, but her silence -so unlike the Kirsty I had come to know- was heartbreaking. For a while, neither of us said anything, until I decided to break the pattern.  
"So when did he... You know..." she shifted uncomfortably, clearly agitated, but answered nevertheless.  
"About three months ago... The night we found out about his illness."  
"Do you want to talk about it?" slowly, she nodded. I said nothing, wanting her to open up without me pushing her too far.  
"I left my phone on the counter... And he read the text I sent you..." she trailed off, leaving me to fill in the gaps. My eyes widened as the realisation dawned on me.  
"So... This is all my fault?" her eyes finally connected to my own, and a single tear slipped down her cheek.  
"No! No, of course not... He was so angry, but he's never done _that_ before..." she covered her face with her hands again as she started to cry harder. I went immediately to her side, lifting her out of the chair and sitting back down with her on my lap. She buried her face into my shirt, and I wrapped my arms around her, breathing her sweet scent in.  
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she sobbed. I stroked her hair comfortingly.  
"Shh... Don't be sorry, you haven't done anything wrong..."  
"But I have! I drank alcohol tonight even though I knew I was pregnant!" I sighed, and pushed her away from me so I could look into her face. Tears streaked her cheeks, and her eyes were red.  
"Kirsty, look at me." she complied, and I brushed a falling tear away with my thumb. "Whatever you did tonight, it does _not _make you a bad person. We've all made mistakes, and the fact that you'd worry so much about having drunk alcohol at all shows that you aren't a horrible person in the slightest. Okay?" she sniffed, nodding tearfully, and sank back into my arms.  
"He hits me a lot" she mumbled. I recalled the bruising she'd had on her arm a few months ago, and kicked myself for believing her excuse that her daughter had clung onto her arm too tightly at a theme park.  
"Where?" I stated stroking her hair again, and pushing it out of her eyes.  
"Anywhere he could get to." tears started to fill my own eyes. How could I have let this happen to her?  
"Oh, Kirst... Anywhere particular recently?" she nodded, and sniffed again.  
"My b-badk. It hurts..." a tear rolled down my cheek, but I brushed it away before she could see it. I knew I had to be strong for her so that she felt she could let her guard down for a bit.  
"Okay... How about I go run you a bath, and we'll take a look at that, okay?"

_Cover up with make-up in the mirror,_

_Tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again._

_You cry alone and then he swears he loves you._

_

* * *

_

I gently touched one of the marks on Kirsty's back, still slightly damp from the bath. It was one of several, tending from deep blue to purple in colour, and spread all along the different regions of her back. She flinched slightly at my touch.  
"Sorry" I mumbled, as I carefully trailed my finger along her spine. "Does it hurt a lot?" she shook her head.  
"Only a little." I nodded, and stood up. Kirsty automatically reached for her shirt.  
"Wait a second Kirst, do you want some arnica to make you feel better?" I took the small bottle out of the cabinet and showed it to her. She paused, before looking away and nodding, a slight blush rising up her neck. I smiled reassuringly at her.  
"Okay" I tossed her the bottle. "Go and lie on my bed and I'll come and help you in a minute. I just need to do something first."

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end,  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

_

* * *

_

I paced back and forth along the length of the living room, running my hands through my hair in desperation. _Why her? _I kept asking myself that same question over and over until it was sealed into my memory, and all I could see when I closed my eyes were those words burned into my lids.  
On the table still sat the two coffee cups, untouched and stone cold by then. Without thinking, I picked one of them up and hurled it at the wall, blinded by fury. I watched the liquid trickle down the paintwork and stain the carpeted floor.  
I then turned, and headed back up the stairs to help Kirsty.

_A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect,  
Every action in this world will bear a consequence,  
If you wade around forever, you will surely drown,  
I see what's going down._

_

* * *

_

I leant Kirsty a pair of joggers and my smallest t-shirt to sleep in- but however small they were on me, they were still massive on her. We had to roll up the bottoms of the trouser legs, which one way or another prompted a smile from both of us.  
"Adam?" I looked at her, smiling warmly.  
"Hmm?" She put her arms around me in a hug, which I gladly returned.  
"Thank you" she whispered into my shirt. I kissed the top of her head, overjoyed to see her in a relatively happy mood again.  
"No problem. I'm always here for you sweetheart, okay?"  
"Okay." I yawned. It had been a long day for both of us.  
"Time to go to bed, I think." all of a sudden, Kirsty's eyes grew wide and became tinged with panic.  
"You won't leave me by myself, will you?" She blushed again, and I pushed a curl away from her face.  
"Not if you don't want me to. You can sleep in my bed. I mean, if that's okay." she smiled again, a grateful smile that warmed even the most forgotten crevices of my heart.

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end,  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

_

* * *

_

When she'd finally fallen asleep, I watched Kirsty's chest rise and fall in a steady pattern. I smiled at how her hands curled up while she slept, as if she was holding someone's hand. I wondered whose hand she'd be holding. I noticed that her nails were bitten down to the quick- a trait I'd never seen in her before. I listened to her mumble distant words in her sleep...  
And I held her tightly, trying to calm her down when she woke up screaming from a nightmare.

_Face down in the dirt, she said,_

_"This doesn't hurt", she said,_

_"I finally had enough."_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Thanks to all who've reviewed, favourited or put this story on alert! If you do alert or favourite, please do drop me a review as well. To be honest, I prefer them; they mean a lot more to me to me and I always feel happy when I see review alerts in my inbox :')  
Enjoy!  
Oh, and hey, who likes my avatar? XD**_

* * *

_Kirsty  
Sunlight spills through a thin slit in the curtain, decorating the room with a soft, gentle glow. I am lying in Adam's arms, and his hand is curled around my own. My mind flows through the events of the previous evening, and a tiny smile dances over my lips as I move my head onto Adam's chest, rising and falling steadily as he sleeps. I sigh, and sit up slowly, painfully aware that I could wake him if I am not careful enough. I look down on him, a single tear trickling down my cheek as a forgotten memory rises from the dark crevices of my mind.  
I get out of the bed, noticing my clothes from the day before folded neatly on top of his chest-of-drawers... A thread of guilt pangs at my heart as I pull the t-shirt I am wearing off over my head, replacing it with my own shirt. Adam stirs, and I freeze, scared that he is about to wake up. When I am dressed, I creep down the stairs, two at a time, and let myself out of the house, leaving a short note on the coffee table in the lounge before I leave.  
I didn't do it to be mean.  
I did it because waking in his arms and feeling his warmth around me was supposed to be perfect. I should have felt so relaxed, so at peace... But all I could think about was how the last person to touch me in that way was Warren._

* * *

_Adam  
_Dear Adam,  
I'm so sorry... But I can't do this.  
Kirsty x

I scrunched the note up in my hand, frustration lining my facial features. What was it that she couldn't do? I didn't understand Kirsty; one minute she was sobbing in my arms, the next she was avoiding me and acting as if we'd done something we shouldn't have.  
She didn't seem to get that I wasn't trying to help her because I felt it was my duty to do so, I was trying to help her because I cared about her and couldn't stand to see her upset! Oh Kirsty... I said to myself. Why won't you let me in?

* * *

_Kirsty_  
For the best part of my shift, I managed to avoid Adam almost entirely. Ever time he entered a room, I would make some excuse and leave just to avoid an awkward confrontation. I tried to convince myself that it was for his own sake -why should he have to take on my problems?- but the hurt look he had on his face each time he saw me trying to avoid him just added to the guilt lurking in the depths of my stomach like an alpha lion on the hunt.  
I couldn't hide from him forever though, and eventually he caught up to me in the staff room while I was on my break.  
"Kirsty?" I spun round from where I'd been pouring myself a much needed cup of strong coffee. Adam was standing in the doorway, purposefully blocking my exit. I stirred my coffee, trying to make it seem like none of this was affecting me.  
"Yeah?" he shifted slightly in his stance.  
"Why are you avoiding me?" I raised my eyebrow, pretending to take a nonchalant sip of my piping hot drink.  
"What do you mean? I'm talking to you right now aren't I?" he sighed exasperatedly, touching a hand to his forehead.  
"Okay, we need to talk about this." I turned around again, and started tidying away the coffee granules and sugar away in the cupboards.  
"Talk about what?" I hadn't realised that Adam had moved from his place by the door to stand behind me until he put a firm hand on my shoulder and spun me around to face him. He gripped my upper arms, shaking me gently.  
"Kirsty, look at me." I refused to do so, instead staring intently at the space on the floor between my shoes and his. "Look at me" he repeated, his tone soft but firm. I finally did as he asked, and when I looked into his eyes I saw nothing but sympathy and love in them. "Kirsty, please stop trying to shut me out," he murmured. "I can't bare to see you like this! Please, talk to me..." I relaxed into his grip, and allowed him to put his arms around me. Sinking into his hug, I allowed myself to think -just for a second-, that maybe it was okay for me to need help with everything that was going on. Without thinking, I stood up on my tip-toes to kiss him, but he pushed me away.  
"Kirsty... Are you sure that's a good idea?" I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words. I wanted to apologise, but I couldn't find the fault. So I pushed him away from me, and rushed out of the room- just like the time when I had drunkenly kissed him. He called after me, but I kept running. I thought that maybe, if I ran fast enough, I would drive myself into a hole and be void of the bitterness that reality brings.

* * *

_Six hours later...  
_"Come on, please be in..." she thumped her fist against the wooden door again, before hissing in pain and sliding down against the woodwork to the floor, hands clenched at her stomach. She knew she was bleeding heavily, and intense pain wracked her body. A few tears escaped her eyes and slid down her cheeks in a tattoo of emotion, and her breathing escalated in panic as she realised that no one was coming to the door. No one was coming to rescue her. He hadn't even answered his mobile when she'd called; he obviously didn't care about her. She pushed herself up from the ground, and after taking a deep breath lurched down the pavement. Sweat lining her features, and she wiped a tear from her eye, grimacing.  
"Oh God..." she whispered as she curled up as a fresh wave of agony overcame her. "I'm sorry..." was the last thing she uttered before she passed out cold.

She lay on the pavement, a fist pressed against her stomach; and only sound that filled the air was the metallic ring of her mobile phone.  
Too late.

* * *

"30 year old female with suspected miscarriage, GCS is 14, BP is 90 over 30, and she's slightly tachycardic. Bleeding was severe but has reduced since, and her temperature is slightly lowered.  
"Right, thanks Dixie." Tess said grimly, taking a hold of the sheets that lay beneath the pale woman's frail body.  
"Okay, nice and gently now, move on my count. One, two, three" the team lifted her over onto a hospital gurney in resus, as Zoe fixed an oxygen mask over her face, lines went into her and an IV stand was wheeled forwards.  
"Kirsty?" Tess spoke her name loudly. "Can you hear me?" Kirsty groaned, her eyes flickering open for a second. Tess smiled. "Good girl. Okay sweetheart, I need you to lie still while we get all your lines in." she turned to Mads, who was stroking Kirsty's hand, staring down at her fellow nurse with big eyes.  
"Mads, I need you to page Obs and Gynae. Tell them we need someone as soon as possible, okay?" she nodded and turned away to do as she'd been asked.  
"What's happened?" Adam burst through the door and made a beeline straight for his barely conscious friend. "Kirsty?" he leaned down and brushed a curl from her face, as she opened her eyes again to look at him. He turned to me, panic lining his features. "What's happened?" he asked again. Zoe put a hand on his shoulder, taking him aside.  
"It looks like a complete abortion from what we can tell. We've put her on IV fluids, and someone from Obs and Gynae is on their way down to check her out." Adam nodded, a look of shock on his face. "Did you know she was pregnant?" she asked softly. He ran a hand through his hair.  
"I... I don't..." he turned, and headed back towards the gurney. "It'll be okay, Kirst..." he spoke gently. "It'll be fine..."

* * *

_**A/N: I did plan to make this longer, but I presume some of you must be getting annoyed my my constant updates... I hope not, but there we go.  
Please review :D It'll make my day, I've had a lot on my mind recently and seeing people take an interest makes me feel awesome (:**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! :D They really inspire me to carry on writing, so thank you all so much!  
Is anyone else really looking forward to the Casualty episode on the 8****th**** of January? I'm literally counting down the days; it looks really good (:  
Kinda disappointed that as of yet, there is no clip on the Casualty website for it though...**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Kirsty  
The day before I told Adam, one of my patients was a fifteen year old girl with fractures and severe bruising around her ribcage.  
"Mia?" I spoke her name softly, and she smiled when she looked up at me.  
"Yeah?" I sat down on the edge of her bed and returned her smile.  
"How did you say you got these again?" I asked, pointing to her ribcage.  
"Oh, I was just being clumsy. I lost my footing and fell down the stairs." I raised an eyebrow.  
"Right." she must have detected the skepticism in my voice, for she frowned and shifted uncomfortably.  
"Why do you ask?" I took her hand, caressing it gently with my thumb.  
"You know, you don't have to hide it. There are people who can help if someone at home is hurting you. I can get you a number if you want?" Mia looked down at the sheets and sighed, entwining her hands.  
"Kirsty, please. It's fine, I can handle it." Unwanted sympathy dripped from my tone as I spoke.  
"Are you sure?" She said nothing, and I sighed, rubbing at an itch on my upper arm. "Look, you really need to talk to someone about this." she grabbed my arm in her spare hand, and pushed my sleeve further up my arm -I'd absent-mindedly shown of the bruising on my arm when I'd been trying to scratch the itch- and smiled gently.  
"Tell you what," she whispered. "I'll tell, if _you _tell."_

_

* * *

_

_Adam  
_Obs and Gynae confirmed what we had already presumed; Kirsty had miscarried the foetus. She was kept in overnight -something she thoroughly objected to-, and during that time I barely left her bedside. In fact, I refused to. I took her endless cups of tea, helped her to sit up when she felt she was ready, and rubbed her back to ease her aches and pains. I made her laugh.  
Why? Because I felt like she deserved someone who would go to the ends of the Earth and back to satisfy her every want and need. The day her husband and daughter were brought into the ED after a car accident, Kirsty said that working with me was the only thing she looked forward to. I should have realised something was amiss among her and Warren that day, and thinking about how I could have saved her from another beating made me feel sick; because I was too wrapped up in my own feelings to realise when someone I deeply cared about needed help with her own emotions.

I would never be able to take that back, and I'd never be able to pretend like it'd never happened either. But maybe it would be the way I cared for her in the future that could lessen the hurt we both felt about the past.

* * *

_Kirsty  
_There are few words to describe the feeling you have when you lose a child. Darkness overwhelms you, and it feels like you no longer have anything to live for. You want to cry, but it feels as if all the tears have been sucked out of you to make room for the rain that pours in your heart. It feels as if your efforts to raise your child have been dashed, and they never even mattered, because to them, you never did anything extraordinary.

That's how it felt when Nita came to the hospital and saw Adam holding my hand, saw me smiling at the terrible joke he'd just told me. She stormed through the ward, a look of outrage on her face.  
"Nita!" I was overjoyed to see her, but when I took in her furious expression my smile quickly tuned into a frown. "What's wrong sweetheart?" she stood by the side of my bed, hands on hips, glaring at me in the way that only teenagers can.  
"How could you not even tell dad you're in hospital?" she hissed. My eyes widened; I'd completely forgotten to call. "What's wrong with you anyway?" A million excuses raced through my mind, but could I really lie to my own daughter?  
"I'm sorry love, I meant to call you. I just fainted and banged my head. It's nothing really." As it turned out, I was totally capable of it.

* * *

_Adam  
_"Okay, do you want pasta or pizza for dinner?" I asked as I walked through to Kirsty's room. She shrugged her bag onto her shoulder and bit her lip.  
"Adam, I think we need to talk about that-" I carried on talking, afraid that she would say exactly what I didn't want her to.  
"I mean, we could even get Chinese if you want, but the takeaway near me always seems to take quite a while to cook the food... What do you think?" she sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bed.  
"Adam, I can't come home with you." I looked up, brows furrowed.  
"What? Why can't you?" she shook her head.  
"Because I have to go home to my _family, _Adam. I'm sorry, but Nita's right to be upset. I can't just stop being a mother just because me and Warren are going through a rough patch." And with that, she walked out, leaving me with a thousand and one emotions to try and deal with.  
"A 'rough patch'?" I muttered to myself. "Is that what we call abuse these days?"

I spent my evening sat alone in my living room, watching TV and drinking enough alcohol to poison my sorrows; just so I didn't have to deal with them right away. I felt too drained to even go upstairs to bed, so I ended up sleeping on the sofa.  
As it turned out, that was a good thing. Because if I _had _gone upstairs, chances are I wouldn't have been able to hear the frantic knocking on my door at two 'O' clock in the morning. I opened the door to find guess who?  
"Kirsty?" she was stood on my doorstep, shivering and absolutely soaked from the pouring rain, with a stream of crimson blood trickling down her face. She fell through the doorway into my open arms, and I quickly pulled her inside to get her out of the cold.  
"I'm sorry Adam," she sobbed into my t-shirt. "I'm so sorry!" I pushed the door closed, and hugged her to my chest, stroking her wet hair and rocked her back and forth, my mind frantically searching for something to say.  
"Shh... No, it's okay Kirsty, everything will be okay, I promise." She started crying even harder, my shirt clenched in her hand.  
"Don't! Don't make promises you can't keep!" I hefted her up into my arms and carried her through to the lounge, placing her down on my sofa and stepping back to take in her appearance. She was pale, with deep bags under her red eyes. Her hair was matted with blood, my main major concern, and a few bruises were starting to blossom on her bare arms. She was shaking so hard- whether from the cold, or shock I couldn't really tell.  
"Alright sweetheart, alright," I soothed, draping a throw over her small body. "Let's get you warmed up." I went through the kitchen and put the kettle on to make some tea, then ran upstairs to get some dry clothes and a towel. I stood at the top of the stairs for a moment, trying to make sense of things.  
"Here we are," I murmured as I re-entered the lounge holding the clothes and a mug of tea. Placing the drink on the coffee table, I put an arm around Kirsty's shoulders and helped her to sit up. I gently grasped the hem of her t-shirt. "Can I?" I asked softly, and she nodded, biting her lip. I smiled in encouragement, and lifted it up over her head, immediately draping the towel over her shoulders -not before I took note of the added bruising mind-. I paused, my hand hovering over her legs. _How awkward will me undressing her be for her? _I wondered. She was watching me, no longer crying. I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again. Then opened it, then closed it. She laughed, and I looked up, surprised. She had that warm, gorgeous Kirsty smile on her face, and it made my heart glow.  
"You look like a goldfish doing that!" I returned her grin, and pulled her into a hug. "It's fine Adam... Just get on with it." she whispered in my ear. I pulled back, smiling again.  
"Okay, if you're alright with that." she nodded as I unbuttoned and removed her jeans, replacing them with a pair of my comfiest tracksuit trousers. "There we are," I handed her the cup of tea. "Drink that all up, I'm gonna go get something to see to your head with." I grabbed the first aid kit from a cupboard in my kitchen, along with a damp cloth. When I went back through to the lounge, Kirsty had pulled my spare t-shirt over her head. She was still shivering, but not nearly as violent as she had been just a few minutes beforehand. I kneeled in front of her, and gently dabbed at the blood around the cut on her right temple.  
"How did this happen anyway? Did Warren hit you?" she shrugged, setting her nearly empty cup down.  
"Kind of. Well, I mean yeah, he did. Here," she touched the opposite side of her head to the one where the cut was. "I fell and my head hit the corner of the kitchen counter." I frowned as I saw the size of the cut- it wasn't too big, but it was fairly deep.  
"We should really take you to the emergency room." I said quietly, but she shook her head, the desperate glow in her eyes tugging on my heartstrings.  
"No, please! It's not that bad, it does hurt but apart from that everything's fine. Please?" I sighed.  
"No, everything's _not _fine." I said quietly.  
"Yeah it is! I don't feel dizzy or anything, I'm sure it's just superficial." I shook my head, regarding her with a forlorn expression.  
"We both know that's not what I meant."

After I cleaned her up, we agreed that should she feel worse at any time, we were going to the hospital whether she liked it or not. Two hours of slowly rocking her back and forth in my arms later, I carried an exhausted Kirsty up the stairs and placed her in my bed, slipping in beside her. She curled up against me, nuzzling her head into my chest.  
"Night, Adam..." she said sleepily.  
"Goodnight, Kirsty."

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, I don't know what you guys think, but I had a lot of 'trouble' writing the middle bit of this chapter. Sorry if it's not much good, I'm really tired but I wanted to get this down anyway- a new year's present to you all (: . I might re-write this chapter later, because I meant for the confrontation between Nita and Kirsty to be longer, as well as the conversation Kirsty and Adam had before Kirsty went home- If I re-write it, Adam will put up more of a fight instead of just letting her walk out.  
Anyway, cheers for reading, and please do drop me a review. It'll take you what, 20 seconds? :D  
Oh, and happy new year to you all. Have a good one.**_

_**3**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews!  
Ugh, I just finished watched all the episodes of 'Cutting It'... And oh my God, I'm so frustrated with the way they ended it with Ruby and Gavin! She just disappeared, and that was that... So unsatisfactory.  
Meh, rant over.  
Anyway, if you're wondering why I'm going on about that, it's because the lovely Lucy Gaskell plays Ruby.  
Enjoy this chapter, it may well be the last before I go back to school. I think I'm happy with what I've accomplished over the holidays; not only have I written over 10,000 words of this, I can now play Solitaire without any hints! XD  
Please do review, it makes my day (:  
Song is 'The Scientist' by Coldplay.**_

* * *

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are._

_I had to find you, tell you I need you,_

_Tell you I set you apart._

_Kirsty  
_When I woke in Adam's arms once _again, _the first thing I thought to do was run. But _no_, a little voice in the back of my head implored. _He just wants to help you; you can't go running to him and then leaving like this. _So instead, I curled up to him, putting my head on his chest. His hand instinctively curled around mine, making me smile, and I quickly drifted back into the throes of sleep, content in the knowledge that I _could _trust someone.

"Morning Kirst," he whispered in my ear a couple of hours later. I opened my eyes one at a time, and gave him a sleepy smile, as he brushed a lock of hair back from my face. "You hungry?" I shook my head, and Adam sighed, rolling me onto my back. "You should really eat something, you must be starving after last night" I shrugged, and he sighed again, tossing me a smile. "Okay, but you have to eat something sometime today, right? I'm gonna go call work and get the day off- I'll say I'm coming down with a virus or something." I sat up, yawning.  
"You don't have to do that, Adam. I was thinking about going in for an hour or two anyway..." he sat back down on the edge of the bed, and traced the cut on my temple.  
"I'm not sure that's a great idea Kirsty. I mean, you'll get a lot of awkward questions about this..." he kissed my temple, then gently grasped my arm. "And these..." I looked down at the blossoming bruises on my skin, and covered them up with my hand.  
"Okay, maybe not then. But that doesn't mean you have to stay off-" He interrupted me, putting a finger to my lips.  
"Yeah, and leave you alone with a head injury?"  
"I told you, I'm fine!"  
"Yeah, well I'm not convinced. I'm not leaving you alone, end of." I laughed, and shoved him playfully.  
"Okay, okay. What's on the agenda today then?" he smiled.  
"Well firstly, I will be making a stack of delicious pancakes for breakfast and we _will _be stuffing our faces with them whether you like it or not."

* * *

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,_

_Oh lets go back to the start._

_Running in circles, Comin' in tails_

_Heads on a science apart._

_Adam  
_"Um, Kirst, do you-" I stopped in my tracks when I saw her quickly wiping a few tears from her cheeks. "Kirsty, what's wrong?" I kneeled before her, and she gave me a watery smile.  
"Nothing, nothing. I'm just being stupid." she looked away, but I put a hand on her cheek and turned her head to look at me.  
"Kirsty," I repeated. "What's wrong?" She bit her lip, anxiety coating her every move, and I stroked her soft skin with my thumb.  
"You'll hate me" she whispered. I sighed as she pulled away from my touch.  
"No, I could never hate you. What did you do?" she looked me straight in the eye, tears coating her pale face.  
"I killed my baby Adam..." I pulled her into an embrace, and she laid her head on my shoulder. "I drank too much the night before, and I killed my own child!" I rubbed her back soothingly.  
"No, no you didn't. It was probably just a coincidence, you know that." She shook her head.  
"It deserved a life!" she sobbed. I leaned her into the crook of my arm, holding her the way you'd hold a child and looking down into her face.  
"And what kind of life would it have lead? Kirsty, it wasn't exactly conceived under the best circumstances was it?"  
"But that wasn't it's fault! Just because it was an accident-" I interrupted her, stroking her arm.  
"Sweetheart, it wasn't _just _an accident. Warren raped you." She flinched at the 'r' word, and I immediately felt bad. "Look, I know it must be really hard to come to terms with it, but the miscarriage wasn't your fault. And although you might not like me saying it, I personally think that it may have been for the best. Could you ever really ever love a child that was conceived in that way?" I kissed her on the forehead.  
"I don't know" she murmured.  
"See? So you don't have to worry about it anymore."  
"But Adam," she slipped her hand into mine, and I squeezed it gently. "Now I'll never get to find out."

That night, we ordered pizza and sat eating it whilst wating the crap on evening TV. Kirsty was lying with her head on my chest, and I stroked her hair contentedly. Eventually I became fed up of watching complete rubbish, and turned the telly off. Kirsty shifted slightly, but made no effort to move. She looked up at me, and for a moment our eyes connected, their usual warm glow dancing and glittering in my soul. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I leaned down, and gently pressed my lips to hers. She didn't pull away, but I could sense how tense she was to my touch. After a few seconds, she relaxed, and I wrapped my arms around her frame, pulling her closer to me. _What are you doing? _I thought to myself, but I still didn't stop. I slowly slipped my hands under the hem of her t-shirt and lifted it up over her head, wrapping my arms around her and swapping our positions, so she was lying on her back looking up at me. I leaned down and kissed her neck, running my hands down her sides. She welcomed my touch, and gave me a wobbly smile. I lowered myself down onto her, nuzzling my face into her shoulder.  
"Adam?" I slid my arms underneath her, pulling us closer together.  
"Mmm?"  
"A-adam..." One moment I was caressing her back, and the next I was on the floor with Kirsty flying out of the room. She'd pushed me off her with all the force in her fragile body and raced up the stairs. I sat up as I heard the bathroom door slam, and groaned, putting my head in my hands.  
_Adam, what have you done?_

* * *

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_It's such a shame for us to part._

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be this hard._

_Kirsty  
Oh Kirsty, what are you doing? _I sat on the floor with my knees to my chest, trying to make sense of what had happened. Adam... He was only nice. I knew I should have just told him if I wasn't comfortable, but I couldn't help it. I just overreacted, as usual. I heard him come up the stairs, two at a time, to stand outside the bathroom door.  
"Kirsty?" he knocked softly, and I curled up even tighter. "Kirsty, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what came over me; it just happened so fast..." his voice was muffled and a little choked, as if he's been crying. Silence fell between us, until I stood, and unlocked the door, opening it to look at him. He was a little dishevelled, and his hair was sticking up the way it did when he was stressed and was constantly running his hands through it.  
"I wanted it," I whispered.  
"Huh?" he took a step towards me, confusion in his eyes.  
"I wanted it... But it just... It..." he placed his hands on my shoulders.  
"Kirsty, what?" I leaned forward, allowing him to wrap his arms around me in a friendly embrace.  
"It reminded me too much of how we used to be... You know, me and Warren. I'm so sorry!" he kissed the top of my head, and put a comforting hand on my cheek.  
"Don't say sorry. Please, stop saying sorry. This isn't your fault... It's mine entirely. I shouldn't have done that Kirst. Can you forgive me?" She gave me a small smile, a favour which I greatly returned.  
"Nothing to forgive." she wiped a tear from her eye as their old spark slowly returned to them. "God, I'm so hormonal! I don't know how you can put up with it Adam." He pulled me close and put his head on my shoulder so he could whisper in my ear.  
"Kirsty, you're perfect. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

* * *

_Oh take me back to the start._

_I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,_

_Pulling the puzzles apart._

_Questions of science, science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart._

_And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_

_Oh and I rush to the start._

_Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails_

_Comin' back as we are_

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_Oh it's such a shame for us to part._

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be so hard._

_I'm goin' back to the start._

* * *

_**A/N: Um... Yeah. Sorry for the rather pitifully short and pretty crappy chapter, I decided to put the rest of the song in as there weren't enough paragraph-y things to fit it all in otherwise XD  
I go back to school on Tuesday; and I will write a little more tomorrow. I promise it'll be longer and (hopefully) better! I did struggle with this chapter actually .**_

_**Thanks for reading, don't forget to review! :D**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: New avatar! :D It took me ages, 'cause I'm really hopeless with adobe... (: I like it though. You might not be able to see it yet, but yeah. Whatever.  
Right. I've decided, it's enough with the filler-y waffle. (Although don't get me wrong, a lot of that waffle is important :D). I'm going to get on with the main plot line now.  
Be warned.  
And I was wondering, I wonder if the 'brutal consequences' taking place in the next episode of Casualty will actually be brutal? I suppose it IS a soap, so you know, probably.  
But then again, brutality has many different forms...  
Anyway, enough of my gabble. Enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to hit that review button at the bottom of the screen and tell me what you think! :D Song is 'Does anybody hear her?' by Casting Crowns. I'd really recommend it, it's a really good song (:  
Oh, and the first part of this is mostly dialogue, and I kind of ran out of actions for them to do in the between times, so it may seem a bit stiff... Sorry about that. Bear with me though.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_She is running,_

_A hundred miles an hour, in the wrong direction._

_She is trying,_

_But the canyon's ever widening,_

_In the depths of her cold heart._

_So she sets out on another misadventure just to find_

_She's another two years older_

_And she's three more steps behind._

_Adam  
_"Adam, can I have a quick word?" I turned to face Tess as she hurried down the corridor to catch up with me. I finished writing a patient's notes up and handed the file over to Noel.  
"Yeah, sure Tess." she smiled, and I followed her through to her office.  
"Coffee?" she asked as we entered the room. I shook my head, wondering what she wanted.  
"No, thanks. My shift's nearly over anyway."  
"Ah, right. I'll try not to keep you too long then." She turned away, as if she was avoiding eye contact with me. "Okay, the reason I wanted to talk to you is because me and a couple of other staff members are concerned." I nodded, pretending that I didn't know what she was talking about- although deep down I had a pretty good idea of it.  
"Concerned about what?"  
"About Kirsty." I folded my arms to my chest. I had a feeling I knew where the conversation was going.  
"Ah."  
"Yes, I thought maybe I should talk to you because you seem to know her fairly well, and she won't open up to me. We've noticed that things seem to be a bit... Problematic with her at the moment, and I thought maybe you could tell me if there's something I should know."  
"What makes you think there's a problem?" she sighed, and leaned against her desk.  
"Okay, I'll put it bluntly. The fact that she didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy, the way she won't talk about her home life, and... The bruises, Adam." I looked up, and bit my cheek out of worry. "I've noticed bruises on her arms before, but I've never said anything about it because I thought there might be a simple explanation. But when she was brought in the other week, she was absolutely covered in them. There's obviously something going on Adam, and if you know about it you really need to let me know. We all care about her, that's all." I sighed, and smiled grimly at Tess.  
"All right, well, I'm not saying there is or isn't a problem. But I think if there was one, it should come from Kirsty, not me."  
"I understand why you'd think that, but if something's going on-" I interrupted her, already knowing what she would say.  
"I know, I know. Look, Kirsty's staying at mine at the moment," I raised my hand to prevent her from cutting me off. "And I promise I'll talk to her when I get home. I'm sorry I haven't been much help Tess, but I don't think it's my place to say anything." She smiled, and went to open the office door for me.  
"No, you've been a great help. I'll let you get back to work now. Thanks, Adam." I returned her smile and left the room, guilt starting to well up in my stomach.  
I'd promised Kirsty I wouldn't tell anyone, and technically I hadn't broken that promise... But I'd managed to set in stone what Tess and some of the other staff were already pretty much certain of anyway.  
And what kind of a person does that make me?

* * *

_She is yearning,_

_For shelter and affection,_

_That she never found at home._

_She is searching,_

_For a hero to ride in,_

_To ride in and save the day._

_And in walks her prince charming_

_And he knows just what to say._

_Momentary lapse of reason and,_

_She gives herself away._

_Kirsty  
_"Listen Nita sweetheart, I know things are hard at the moment, but I'll come and see you soon, I promise." Nita was furious with me. I could tell from her cutting tone and raised voice.  
"Do you have any idea how upset this is making dad? He really misses you mum, he just wants you to come home! Where are you anyway?" I sighed, wishing that she could understand what was going on between me and her father. But at least I could be thankful for the fact that Warren would never, _ever _lay a finger on his daughter. He loved her too much.  
"I know, sweetheart. Tell him I'll come back soon, he just has to be patient. I'll explain it all at some point darlin', but not right now. Okay?" I heard her snort, her tone incredulous.  
"Yeah, whatever. Bye mum." Without even waiting for a reply, she disconnected the call, leaving me with only the empty dial tone to talk to.

_If judgement looms under every steeple,_

_If lofty glances from lofty people,_

_Can't see past her scarlet letter,_

_And we've never even met her..._

"Hey Adam!" I called as I heard the front door slam shut. "Good day?" There was a slight pause in which I presumed Adam was hanging up his coat, before he popped his head around the door. I was sitting cross legged on the carpet, leafing through a magazine.  
"Uh, yeah, thanks. Not bad." I could tell from the moment I saw his ashen face that something was up.  
"What's wrong?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, and I started to worry. What had happened?  
"Tess came and spoke to me today... And I promised her I'd have a word with you." I bit my lip. _Uh oh._  
"Okay..." he sat on the sofa behind me, and I leaned back to rest against his legs. He rubbed my shoulders as I looked up at him with a questioning expression on my face.  
"She asked me what's going on, Kirst. She's noticed the bruises on you, and she's really worried about you." I shifted uncomfortably, not liking the way the conversation was going. He reached under my arms and pulled me up beside him. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me, holding me close.  
"Did you tell her?"  
"No, I told her that it wasn't my place to talk to her about your personal problems."  
"Right." We were both quiet for a while, before I sighed and decided to break the silence. "What do you think I should do then?"  
"Honestly?" I nodded. "I think you should tell her, Kirst. She only wants to help." I said nothing,but allowed Adam to lift me onto his lap. I buried my face into his chest, trying to make sense of it all. I had never even _considered _telling Tess; we had hardly seen eye to eye with each other since we met. "You don't have to decide right now," he continued. "You can decide whether you want to or not before you go back to work... All I'm saying is that it might be in your best interest to let someone else know." I nodded, biting the nail on my index finger.  
"Okay," I murmured. "Okay, I'll think about it."

_If judgement looms under every steeple,_

_If lofty glances from lofty people,_

_Can't see past her scarlet letter,_

_And we've never even met her..._

_Never even met her._

_

* * *

_

_Adam  
_To be totally honest, I hadn't expected it would be that easy to convince her, but she seemed so... Tired. Tired of having only me to rely on, tired of feeling she couldn't trust anyone to be there when she needed it most.  
After a while, she fell asleep in my arms, and for a long time I just watched her breathe, so thankful for her existence. I stroked a fading bruise on her arm and thought of every lovely little thing about her that I could think of, from the curve in her neck to the little wrinkle she gets on her forehead when she's confused.  
"I love you, Kirsty. And I _will _show you how different life can be." I whispered into her ear. She opened a sleepy eye, smiled, and turned to look at me.  
"I love you too Adam. I really do."

_Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?_

_Or does anybody even know she's going down today?_

_Under the shadow of our steeple,_

_With all the lost and lonely people,_

_Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me.  
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?_

_He is running, a hundred miles an hour..._

_In the wrong direction._

_

* * *

_

_**A/N: Um... Yeah. Not as long as I planned, but I didn't really plan this chapter anyway, so... Yeah.  
I'm going to write a plan of the remaining chapters... Not that I have any idea how long it'll be., but I really want the next chapter to be at least 2000 words. So, good luck to me! XD  
Anyway, I will see you guys whenever.  
Wish me luck for my Biology mock tomorrow! **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: As it turns out, my Biology teacher was absent today (phew!). So this is the result of my free lesson.  
Please do review, it'd mean a lot to me as I'm finding it hard to find inspiration for Chapter 10 .  
Thanks, and enjoy!**_

_Kirsty  
_"Kirsty, you really don't have to be here. It's not too late, we can still go home if you want." I sighed as I pulled down the hem of my sky blue top and zipped it up the side.  
"Adam, I've already told you. It's absolutely _fine, _I can handle it. Besides, I'm bored just staying in all day now. I need some ED action." He leaned against the his locker as I piled my casual clothes in my own. The bruises all over my body were mostly all gone, but I still wore a white long sleeved shirt underneath my scrubs just to be sure. I was a little worried about the awkward conversation me and Tess were to have later on, but Adam had assured me that he would be there in a flash should he be needed.  
I suppose in a way, the prospect of being able to tell someone other then Adam was a relief- not that he hadn't been great. He'd been an absolute star for all the help he'd given me, but he knew as well as I did that I needed to be able to talk to other people as well as him.  
"Okay, if you're absolutely positive." I nodded, giving him a warm smile and putting a hand on his arm.  
"I am, believe me. It's okay Adam, you don't need to worry all the time. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." He returned my smile, and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.  
"Yeah," he sighed. "That's what I'm worried about.

It didn't take long for me to get back into the swing of the ED. I'd forgotten how hectic life there could be, and after two RTAs, three dislocations and a burn victim I was pretty much ready to call it a day. Unfortunately, my shift was far from over, so instead I asked Tess for an early lunch break. I figured she'd let me off considering my... Situation.  
"Yeah, of course Kirsty." she confirmed my prediction. "Oh, and we'll have that chat later, okay?" I nodded and flashed her a worn smile before making my way to the staff room and putting the kettle on. I was the only one in there, so I took a couple of aspirin and sat with my head in my hands. _Maybe it _is _too soon to come back to work... _I thought, looking up at the clock. But before I could even pour myself a cup of much needed coffee, my mobile started to ring. Wondering who it was, I pulled it from my pocket. The words 'N_umber Withheld' _were flashing on its screen, so I answered it just to see who it was.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey Kirsty." _Warren. _Who else? I was about to hang up, but instead I decided to see what he wanted first.  
"What do you want Warren?"  
"I just called to ask when you are coming home?" There was a pause in which I tried to collect my words together and find something satisfactory to say. "Well Nita's ill, if you even care about that." He continued. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair.  
"Okay, well you know where we the medicine is. Just keep her hydrated and-" he cut me off, his tone low.  
"But she doesn't want me, she wants her mum." I sighed again, closing my eyes exasperatedly.  
"I'm at work though Warren, I can't come home now!"  
"Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that. It's fine, she knows you don't care anyway." I bit my lip guiltily, weighing up the choices of whether to go home and have to face Warren, or stay at work and betray my daughter once again.  
"Okay," I finally agreed, after what felt like an eternity of silence. "I'm on my way." Pocketing my phone, I grabbed my jacket from the back of a chair and left the staff room, debating whether to let Adam know or not. In the end, I decided against it, knowing that he would try and stop me if he knew. I figured that with Nita home, Warren couldn't do anything to me. So I walked out, keeping my head down so nobody would spot me and wonder where I was off to.

"Warren? Nita?" I called as I let myself in and pushed the door closed behind me. No one answered, so I went up the stairs and put my head round the door to Nita's room. I smiled fondly at the bump underneath her bundle of blankets, and moved forward to sit on the edge of her bed. "Hey, sleepyhead" I peeled back the cover to see her face, only to find that the lump that I had presumed to be my daughter was just a clever arrangement of toys and clothes to look like her. '_Oh God' _I thought, as the realisation that Warren had tricked me into coming home hit me.  
"You decided to come then?" I whirled around at the voice. Warren was standing in the doorway, his hands balled into fists. I swallowed anxiously.  
"Warren, where's Nita?" he chucked lightly.  
"Oh, so you _do _care about your child then. Could have fooled me!" I clenched my own fists, worry starting to gnaw at the pit of my stomach.  
"Don't play with me Warren, where is she?"  
"Don't worry, she's fine. She's at school, and then she's going to a friend's." I ran a hand through my hair.  
"Why did you trick me here then?" he took a step towards me, and I in turn took a step away.  
"Because I knew you wouldn't come otherwise." I was becoming impatient, and my tone emphasised this.  
"Yes, but _why_?"  
"So we could talk, Kirst." he came and sat on the edge of Nita's bed, and patted the covers next to him. I ignored his invitation to sit down, instead backing up until I was close to the wall. '_I wonder if I can make a break for the door?' _I thought. Warren sighed, presumably sensing what I was considering.  
"Please, Kirsty. Give us a chance, eh?"  
"I've _given _you plenty of chances already. And you always ruin them." he hunched up, his arms folded across his stomach.  
"I know I've screwed up before, but I really think I can change-" I cut him off mid sentence.  
"Can you really, Warren? Or is this just another one of your games?" he sighed again, and I even thought I saw a tear glimmering in his eye.  
"I know I've treated you badly in the past Kirsty... But I really want you to forgive me. I'm trying to be a better person. A better husband." Silence fell between us, and for a few minutes I looked around Nita's room, re-familiarising myself with the posters of boy-bands she liked, and the pattern on the ceiling. Tension hung thickly in the air, and Warren's voice cut into it like a knife to butter when he spoke again. "So who've you been staying with then?" I looked up, my nerves beginning to waiver.  
"What?" He got to his feet.  
"You heard me. Whose house have you been staying at all this time?" I said nothing, backing further towards the wall as he took a couple of steps in my direction. "Kirsty," he repeated, his voice low and threatening. "Whose house was it?" I barely had time to reply before he slammed his fist into my ribcage, taking all the breath from my body and causing me to double over. I cried out in pain as he struck me, and I was sure I'd felt a bone crack underneath his force. "Tell me!" he demanded, and I shook my head, still blinded by the immense pain his punch had caused.  
"No! You can't do this to me Warren!" I ran towards the door as quickly as the pain in my side would allow it, but he caught me just as I'd reached the top of the stairs.  
"Tell me!" he roared in my face as he shook my shoulders, hard. _'Kirsty, you idiot! You shouldn't have come here in the first place!' _I told myself as I looked into his piercing eyes, absolutely terrified. He brought his hand back, and slapped me hard around the face. The sound reverberated around the landing as I staggered back, lost my footing, and tumbled down the stairs.

Pain erupted all over my body, and I screamed in agony as I felt bones fracture and bruises form as I landed at the bottom of the stairs. Warren was still standing at the top, a look of pure horror written across his expression.  
"I didn't mean to! Kirsty, I didn't mean to!" he panted as he joined me at the bottom. At that point, I was beyond caring; the pain was so intense and I could feel blood beginning to pool underneath my body. I was barely conscious, and Warren's figure was blurry as he leaned down and shook me.  
"N-no..." I sobbed. "Ambulance, please!" He ignored me, instead pacing back and forth along the hallway.  
"What have I done? Oh shit, what have I done? I didn't mean to!"  
"Please, ambulance..." I gasped as my vision began to fade.  
"I've got to get out of here!" Even in the state I was in, I could tell he was panicking. I tried to call after him as he grabbed his jacket and limped out of the front door, leaving me barely conscious at the bottom of the stairs.  
"Please..." I whispered, as the ground opened up and swallowed me whole.

* * *

Adam  
"Anyone seen Kirsty?" I asked for the umpteenth time as I reached the reception desk.  
"Nah, sorry mate." was the standard reply I kept receiving, and I can't say I was thrilled to get it again. I groaned as the pool of uncertainty and anxiety in the pit of my stomach increased, and checked my watch. I'd only just finished my shift, only to find that Kirsty wasn't waiting for me as we'd agreed. Nobody could account for her whereabouts, and I was starting to really worry. I had a terrible feeling I knew where she'd gone, and as I ran out to my parked car I had only one destination in mind: The house she and Warren used to share.  
Not caring about speed cameras or traffic tickets, I drove as fast as I could without endangering those around me, and within fifteen minutes I'd pulled up outside the house. There was no car in the driveway, so I backed into the space and, slipping from my seat, rushed to the front door.  
"Anyone home?" I shouted as I hammered my fist on the wood. Nobody came and I heard no answer, so I continued to shout through and knock for the next couple of minutes- but to no avail. Felling myself on the verge of panic, I slammed my weight against the door, trying to break the lock and force it open. A few more attempts, and I still appeared to be getting nowhere, so I instead reached for a large stone on the ground, and hurled it at the hall window with all my might. The impact of the stone caused nearly all the glass to fall in splinters from the window frame, so I was able to crawl through without cutting myself too badly- not that I cared as I laid eyes upon the girl I loved, lying in a pool of her own blood at the foot of the stairs.  
"Kirsty!" I dashed forward and fell to my knees before her, automatically going into doctor mode as I checked for a pulse, weak and irregular, and for the breathing that was barely there at all. I reached for my phone and dialled 999, my voice cracking as I phoned for the ambulance that could save Kirsty's life if it got there in time.  
"Kirsty, can you hear me?" She was completely unresponsive; not surprising considering the amount of blood loss she'd suffered. Her skin was ashen, and she was cold. "What has he done to you?" I murmured, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks as I took her pulse again. It was getting weaker, and an icy chill gripped my heart as I realised that the very little breath she had left in her fragile body had run out, and she was no longer breathing. "No..." I started crying properly as I carefully turned her onto her back, tilted her head back, and taking a deep breath to steady myself, put my lips to hers and began CPR.

_Please, don't do this to me..._


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Thank you to all who've reviewed! Please do so if you haven't already, it really means more to me then you could ever really imagine (: And oh wow, have you seen the spoilers for the 22****nd****? It looks intense O_o  
Anyway, enjoy! And drop me a review before you go, yeah?**_

_**

* * *

**_

_I said I'd moved on and I'll leave it alone,_

_But before I walk out there is something that I need you to know,_

_I got lost in a blink of an eye,_

_And I can never get back, no I've never got back,_

_You were not there when I wanted to say,_

_That you were everything that right and it wasn't you but me to change,_

_Now I got to go it alone,_

_But I'll never give up, no I'll never give up._

_Adam  
_I'd like to say that I felt no pain as I waited for news. That I felt numb, and that I knew that Kirsty would make it through, because she's so strong. But no matter how well she handled being kicked down again and again, there was no certainty that her body could cope with something like this. Numerous fractures, possible head injuries, cuts and bruises.  
I'd like to say it didn't hurt to be in this situation once again. But that would be lying.

I hadn't been allowed in resus with Kirsty, so I sat on a bench just outside the ED, shaking like mad. People stared at me as if I was an animal in a zoo. Thinking back on it, it was hardly surprising. I was drenched in Kirsty's blood, something that will haunt my every nightmare for the rest of my life.

_What am I fighting for,_

_There must me something more,_

_For all these words I've said,_

_Do you feel anything?_

"Here," Tess handed me a hot cup of coffee. "It should help with the shock." I nodded my gratitude, and moved so she could sit beside me.  
"How is she?" I asked.  
"Stable, but in a pretty critical condition." For a while, neither of us said a word; because there was nothing either of us _could _say. There were no divine words that could lift the dire situation from our shoulders and relieve us of the pain.  
"I should have seen this coming." I eventually murmured. She looked up at me with a questioning look on her face.  
"Seen what coming?" I sighed, taking a sip of my drink and ignoring the pain as it burnt my tongue.  
"I should have known she'd go back to him."  
"To _who_, Adam?"  
"Her husband. Warren." Tess put a comforting hand on my back.  
"So he's... Abusive then? Violent?" I nodded, running a hand through my dishevelled hair. After a few minutes of silence, Tess spoke again. "There's no evidence that she was beaten in any way, Adam. Her injuries suggest that she fell down the stairs. And isn't that where you found her?" I shrugged.  
"I know, but I'm sure he had _something _to do with it." I said bitterly. "He probably pushed her or something." Tess sighed.  
"Yes, we both know that's always a possibility. But you know the police will need a statement from Kirsty before they can arrest her husband, don't you?" She shook her head pityingly. "They'll want a word with you as well, and we've started weaning Kirsty off anaesthesia. It shouldn't be too long before she's awake, and I expect she'd like to see you."

* * *

_I said I'm OK but I know how to lie,_

_You were all that I had,_

_You were delicate and hard to find,_

_I got lost in the back of my mind,_

_And I can never get back, no I've never got back_

_You were not there when I needed to say,_

_I hit the bottom so fast that my head was spinning 'round for days,_

_Now I gotta go it alone, _

_But I will never give up, no I'll never give up_

I brushed a curl back from her eyes, taking in her broken figure. Her skin was pasty, and glimmered with a thin layer of sweat. She was barely conscious, and opened a heavy eye as a tear trickled down her cheek -whether through pain or sorrow I couldn't tell, and the intubation tubed in her throat meant she was unable to make it any clearer to me or anyone else.  
Machines beeped, and she looked so fragile and small underneath all the many wires and other hospital equipment she was attached to.  
"Hey," I soothed. "Don't cry, it'll be all right." Her eyes flickered over to look at me, in them swimming a painful cocktail of hurt, betrayal and exhaustion. The imploring look she gave me made me want to throw up, and I had to clench my fist to keep myself from rushing out of resus and finding that pathetic excuse of a husband myself.  
But deep down, I knew that the time would come for retribution and justice, and at that moment Kirsty needed me to comfort her, not to be a hero.  
"Okay, let's give her another five of morphine." I asked a passing nurse, who hurried to do as she'd been told. Turning back to Kirsty, I dropped a gentle kiss on her clammy forehead, holding her undamaged hand- the other had fractures in both a metacarpal and her ulna*. Her collarbone had also suffered a hairline fracture, and two of her ribs had spiral fractures, indicating that she'd had a nasty fall. But not that she'd been pushed.  
All of this was irrelevant when I thought of the person beholding all these injuries. She wasn't _just _a patient, she wasn't _just _anyone... It was my Kirsty.  
Sweet, kind, undeserving Kirsty.  
Within a few minutes of administering the powerful painkiller, her facial features began to relax, and although it may have just been my ever hopeful imagination, I was certain I saw a weak smile disguised behind the tubes protruding from her.

_What am I fighting for,_

_There must me something more,_

_For all these words I've said,_

_Do you feel anything_

_

* * *

_

_One hour later  
_"So when did she first tell you about the abuse?" I thought back to the night where she'd poured out her heart to me.  
"Erm... About two and a half weeks ago, I think."  
"And in that time, you didn't contact the authorities to tell them what was going on?"  
"No, I wanted Kirsty to be the one to report him herself." Police Constable Durrham gave me a sceptical look.  
"Right. So you've never actually seen him physically hurt her then?"  
"No, but I _have _seen the marks he's left on her."  
"What kind of marks? Bruising?" I nodded. "Where?"  
"Pretty much everywhere. Her back, arms, legs, ribs..."  
"And it didn't occur to you to occur the police?" I sighed exasperatedly. He'd been shooting questions at me for the past ten minutes, and I was beginning to grow tired of having to repeat myself.  
"Like I said, I decided that was Kirsty's decision." He shook his head as though in disbelief.  
"Right. Well, we'll need Mrs. Clements to confirm this before we can get a warrant to arrest her husband."  
"But by the time she's ready, he'll have-" he raised a hand to cut me off mid-sentence.  
"I know it's aggravating Mr. Trueman. But we can't prosecute without a statement from someone who was actually there." I nodded, running a tired hand through my hair.  
"All right." He flashed me a half-sympathetic smile.  
"I'm sorry. I wish there was more I could do, but my hands are tied." I nodded, and PC Durrham patted me on the shoulder before leaving me alone with my thoughts and complaints.

_What am I fighting for,_

_There must me something more,_

_For all these words I've said,_

_Do you feel anything_

_

* * *

_

_Kirsty  
When you'd get cross I would cower away, praying for a relief of some sort. A change. I allowed myself be dragged into a vicious circle that, try as I might, I could not break out of.  
Perhaps you were not entirely at fault. It's certainly possible that I played up to your violent outbursts once or twice.  
It's possible that I purposefully left my mobile phone somewhere I knew you'd find it the night I kissed Adam. At least then I knew that my whereabouts and company were still important to you- although for yours or my own sake I could never be too sure on.  
I allowed you to work out your aggression on me Warren, because I truly believed that our situation had the opportunity to improve. But I gave you too many second chances.  
Once upon a time, I wouldn't fight back when you unleashed your chasms of rage upon my body, and left me bruised and battered time and time again.  
But not any more. I will fight you, no matter how terrifying it gets.  
Because I've discovered something: I _do _have the opportunity to improve. It's been staring me in the face for so long now, and I was too busy trying to play Happy Families to realise it.  
You have hurt me for the last time.  
Now, I fight._

_Said that I'd fight for the one that I've found,_

_I'm gonna stay here while I wait for you to come around,_

_I fight you're apart of me now,_

_And I will never give up, no I'll never give up_

_

* * *

_

_*** Metacarpal – Finger  
* Ulna – Just below the wrist bones.  
I don't know why I used all the medical terms, I just felt like it XD Spiral fractures indicate that the bone was twisted when it broke, which could indicate that someone had fallen and rolled down some stairs at speed.  
Can't wait for the Casualty tomorrow! I got my braces today, horrible ones with blocks down the sides... It's pulling all the muscles in my jaw, so the thought of Casualty is cheering me up greatly.  
Lyrics are 'Fighting', by Yellowcard.**_

_**P.S – You didn't really think I'd let our Kirsty die, did you? :D **_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: HI! I really don't know if this will show up in your inbox if you've subscribed to this, but I added to this chapter a little more. Thank you all for the lovely reviews, I really do appreciate them all (: If you haven't read what's on my profile, my mum has Juvenile Huntington's Chorea, and unfortunately having seizures is one of the delightful symptoms. I figure it doesn't matter too much if I'm open with you guys... I usually don't tell people but it's not like you know me in real life. So... Yeah.  
Anyway, she's better now :D So I thought I'd add a little more.  
Hopefully it's a little better.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Because of you I'm lying awake at night_

_All I'm seeing is pictures of you_

_As I close my eyes_

_I fade my way into the laws of my dream world._

_Kirsty  
_"I don't know!" Tears sprang to my eyes as I tried desperately to recall the moments leading up to me falling down the stairs. The tubes helping me to breathe had been removed from my throat just an hour before, and my throat still hurt from the intrusion. My wrist and fingers were immobilised in a plaster cast, and I was being carefully monitored to ensure that the shards from my broken ribs couldn't cause me any problems. In reality, I just wanted to be left alone. Nita hadn't even been to visit me; she was staying at her friend's house and I felt like it was my fault for not being there.  
PC Durrham gave me a look of unwanted sympathy.  
"Are you sure you don't remember him pushing you?" I sighed.  
"If I did, I'd have told you." I spat. He nodded.  
"Okay. Has he ever hit you before?" I sank down a little underneath the blankets, and nodded silently. "I need a verbal response Mrs. Clements."  
"Yes..." I muttered. He nodded, and scribbled something down on his notepad.  
"All right. Has he ever abused you sexually?" Awkward silence hung in the air, and while Adam squeezed my hand reassuringly, Tess stared at me, expecting me to shake my head and say _No, of course not. _  
I didn't.

* * *

_It's a place of trust_

_Will you meet me there?_

_There's no time to spare_

_Come on show me you care_

_Here we can make anything become real._

Three hours later, the police had arrested Warren. It's funny how quickly the police will act when rape is involved, isn't it? I was told that as long as Adam took care of me and rang an ambulance if I had any problems, I could go home -with a truckload of painkillers.  
We spent the afternoon lying in his bed, watching DVDs and napping, and in the early evening the doorbell rand. Adam answered. I had just been fading off to sleep again when a figure popped their head around the doorway, and said my name.  
"Mum?" my eyes snapped open.  
"Nita!" she launched at me, and for once I didn't care about the pain her weight caused.  
"The hospital said you were here! I'm so sorry mum, I was just too scared to come see you..." I soothingly brushed hair hair back from her face.  
"Shh... It's okay, I'm just so glad to see you darling." she looked up at me, worry lining her young features.  
"Did the police really arrest dad?" she asked in a small voice. I looked away and nodded slowly.  
"Yeah... I'm sorry, sweetheart. There's a lot of things that you won't understand, and one day I'll explain it to you. Just not right now." she nodded, resting her head against my chest. I fondly kissed the top of her head, breathing in the smell of the Herbal Essence shampoo she always insisted on using.  
"Did he really push you down the stairs?" her voice was so quiet I had to strain my ears to hear her properly. I shrugged.  
"I don't know Nita. I might have just tripped, I don't really remember. Try not to worry though, everything will turn out all right in the end."  
"I know... But why does it have to happen this way?"

* * *

_All of my dreams are all I see_

_Try not to wake me can't you see_

_All of my dreams are all I wanna see_

_Try not to wake me, try not to wake me_

"You know what we should do?" I looked up at Adam, my eyes foggy as my latest dose of painkillers began to sink in.  
"What?" He helped me to sit up and handed me a new glass of water.  
"When all this is over, we should take a long break. Just you, me, and Nita. We could go anywhere you guys want." I smiled contentedly, my dosed up brain making his words float lightly in the air before me.  
"Can we go to the countryside?" He cocked his head on one side, as if he was surprised I'd say that.  
"Of course, if that's what you want. How about the French countryside? We could stay in a cottage, and go for long walks to see the beautiful scenery, or go to the patisserie and buy cakes for afternoon tea... You could take Nita shopping in the village." I reached my arms out despite the pain it caused in my ribs. He returned my embrace, stroking my hair and being careful so as not to hurt me.  
"Thank you, for being so lovely." I murmured in his ear. He smiled at me, his eyes brimming with hope for the future. He leaned forward, and for just a brief moment, our lips brushed together. That was all it took.  
"Mum, do you know if-" Nita froze mid sentence with her mouth hanging half open as she walked in on me and Adam kissing. He leapt away from me to stand in the middle of the living room, running a hasty hand through his dark and untidy hair. I flashed her a weak smile.  
"Nita, darling! It's not what it looks like..." she regarded me with a look of disgust on her face.  
"It's _exactly _what it looks like! Dad's barely been gone five minutes and you've already moved on to _him_?" She glared at Adam, who shifted uncomfortably in his already awkward stance.  
"No, of course not sweetheart. But-" Adam interrupted me.  
"Actually Nita, I care a lot about your mum, and for a long time..." He trailed off as I shot him a ferocious glare to join Nita's. She turned to face me again, and my heart churned at the sight of my livid daughter.  
"Nita listen, it's not-" She cut me off in my terrible attempt to undo some of the damage.  
"Stop it! Stop lying to me Mum! I bet dad never even hit you! You probably just made it all up so you could get poor dad arrested and run off with him!" My eyes filled with tears. I could not for a second comprehend just how difficult it must have been for her to accept that her dad was not the passive, friendly man she had always thought him to be... But surely she didn't think that I'd do such a thing as to make it all up, did she?  
"Nita, please..." I whispered. She shook her head at me.  
"I'm gonna go stay at Hannah's," she muttered. "Call me when you've finished with your sympathy crap and you've told the police the _truth._" She stormed out, and I struggled to get to my feet as I called after her.  
"Kirsty," Adam came forward and gently but firmly pushed me back down. "Let her go." Hot tears spilled down my cheek, a steady stream of pain and longing.  
"But she's my daughter!" I sobbed, struggling against his strong grip as the front door slammed shut.  
"I know, I know." he soothed, pulling my resisting body into a comforting embrace. "I'm sure she didn't mean any of that. This is a lot for her to have to take in; she probably just needs to blow off some steam."  
"But she's my _daughter..._" I repeated.

* * *

"_When you've told the police the _truth_." she'd said.  
Why is it that the truth is always so much more painful then anything else?_

_Because of you my tries to not think of you_

_They just end up in one million thoughts_

_It's way too much to mention_

_See what I mean, when you see my creation_

_All of my dreams are all I see_

_Try not to wake me let me be_

_All of my dreams are all I see_

_Try not to wake me can't you see_

_All of my dreams are all I wanna see_

_Try not to wake me, try not to wake me_

_All of my dreams are all I see_

_Try not to wake me can't you see_

_All of my dreams are all I wanna see_

_Try not to wake me, try not to wake me_

_

* * *

_

_**A/N: Again, I know this one wasn't incredibly long in the end. But I figure it'll do for now, and I'll get started on chapter eleven after my biology module's over on Thursday. I'll be revising till then (:  
So anyway, I really hope you enjoyed it, and please do drop me a review.  
Oh, and before I forget, Kirsty-C (otherwise known as Meggi) has set up a forum for Casualty/Holby City. Considering she only just started it, it's awfully good, so I just thought I'd mention it so that you can maybe check it out sometime. The link is on her profile; I'm not gonna bother putting it in here because of the whole links for other websites being disallowed and all that jazz. But yeah, do have a look if you have time. It's really awesome :D  
Cheers!  
Kaia **_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: If you haven't already seen it, make sure you read the extra bits I added to chapter eleven :D They're kind of important...  
Just watched this week's Casualty... I don't really know what to think about it to be honest. I do have sympathy for rape victims, no matter the circumstances, but (and forgive me for being a bit vague), after having had a... 'Colourful' childhood, I find it difficult to be sympathetic to people who dress up, go to clubs smeared in make up,drink, lead men on, and then change their minds and claim for it to have been rape.  
I mean, it must be hard not remembering much about the night before... But for me, it's when people are assaulted while fully sober that they really suffer, because they remember every pain staking detail. But that's just me... That probably sounds really harsh, but meh. (I'm not being specific about Ruth, I know the storyline took a different path anyway.)  
Sorry, rant over. Had to do that for my sanity (:  
Enjoy Chapter 12, and thank you all so much for the reviews! Even if I don't reply to all of them (and I do try to!), they are always greatly appreciated.  
Thanks guys!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_"Hey sleepy head," My eyes flickered open to see the smiling figure leaning over me. He was holding a tray, filled with my favourite foods -from pancakes to chocolate- and a little parcel wrapped in shiny silver wrapping paper with red ribbons curled in a bow. Warren leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, a lock of his hair brushing against my cheek as he did so. "Happy birthday love." He rested the tray on my lap, then lifted it up again just in time as our four year old daughter bounded through the door and crashed onto the double bed with all the grace of a baby hippopotamus.  
"Mornin' mummy!" She squealed happily, throwing her arms around me. I returned her squeeze, grinning at her.  
"Hey, sweetheart! Are you alright?" She nodded happily.  
"Yeah. Look, I drew you a picture!" I took the piece of slightly crumpled paper from her little hand and smiled fondly at the little disproportionate stick people she'd drawn to portray us. Warren, her superhero, was massive in comparison with me and her, and his torso was shaded red; presumably for his fireman's outfit. We all had big, scarlet red cartoon grins spreading from ear to ear.  
Happy families._

_

* * *

_

_Adam  
_I spent a long time making Kirsty breakfast, despite the fact that I knew she wouldn't eat it. I spread butter right to the ends of her lightly toasted bread and set it to the side of her plate accompanied by a small pot of jam. I made pancaked and spent a long time cutting and shaping each one into a perfectly shaped heart, stacking them up into an aligned pile and drizzling syrup over the top. I poured her a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, and lovingly slipped a cornflour blue flower into a separate glass, filling the space around it with the petals that had fallen from its neighbours.  
I knew that I was trying too hard. I was trying to sweep her off her feet, when all she craved was simplicity. In the deeper crevices of my mind, I had a feeling that the more I pushed her, the more she'd pull away. And yet I still tried, because I was scared that in giving her too much space, she could resent me for it.  
It was a delicate balance that I struggled very much with to get right.

My hands hovered over the handles of the tray, preparing to make the journey up the stairs to Kirsty. But then, as a second thought, I grabbed her box of prescription pain meds down from the shelf, balancing it on the pretty full tray and carefully taking it upstairs to its recipient.

"Good morning," I placed it down on the bedside table in the guest bedroom. After Nita left and we went up to bed, Kirsty had wordlessly gone to the guest room, and I certainly hadn't challenged her on it. I figured she needed some space- but I was also worried that too much isolation could quite possibly come at a heavy price to both of us.  
At my voice, Kirsty turned to look at me, forcing a worn smile in my direction.  
"Hey" she mumbled back, as I brushed her hair back from her face, frowning slightly as she flinched a little under my touch.  
"Are you hungry?" She shook her head.  
"Not really..." I returned an equally fake smile.  
"Okay, well I made you breakfast if you do feel like eating in a little while."  
"Thanks." After a moment of silence, I spoke up again.  
"So, how are you feeling?" She pushed herself up and tried to smile again.  
"Fine. I'm fine." I could tell she was lying through her teeth, but forced myself not to comment on that fact. I knew that her thoughts would only be on her daughter. I sighed, taking her hand in my own and squeezing it gently. She did not return the act of kindness, but at least allowed her hand to lie limply in my grasp.  
"Do you want to take your painkillers now?" I motioned towards the little box sitting on the tray, and she shook her head wearily. "Okay," I sighed again wearily. "Don't forget that you have an outpatient's appointment at the hospital today." She looked up at me as a little streak of panic flashed in her hazel eyes.  
"I don't want to go" she mumbled quietly.  
"Sorry?" I asked, unsure if I had heard her correctly or not.  
"Please, don't make me go Adam... I feel fine now!"  
"Why don't you want to go?" She shrugged.  
"I don't want anyone to see me, or judge me!" My expression was filled with helpless sympathy as I gazed upon her, and she shifted awkwardly.  
"Kirsty, of course they won't judge you! They want to help you, you know that."  
"Adam, my own _daughter _doesn't believe that Warren really did all those things to me! Her tone was becoming more and more desperate with every word that left her lips. "So how can I expect anyone else to?"  
"Kirsty, Nita's just confused, you know that. She's just a teenager, and she probably just doesn't want to believe her own father could do something like that to you." She ignored me completely.  
"I should call the police and tell them I made it all up..." She made to get out of bed, and I grasped her upper arms firmly to stop her from doing just that. I pushed her back on to her covers, and she struggled underneath my grip.  
"Kirsty, stop!" My voice was firm and a little bit louder then I'd meant it to be. She stopped wriggling furiously and instead stared up at me with big eyes, the tiniest flash of fear and apprehension glinting in them. I immediately released my hold on her. She had paled a little at my authoritative tone, and sat up slowly when I let go of her arms. I sat down beside her, icy guilt starting to seep through my gut.  
"Kirsty..." I murmured. She turned her head very slightly towards me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to sound angry... I'm just tired, and all this seems to have taken its toll on both of us." She leaned towards me and put her head on my shoulder, and I put my arm round her petite frame.  
"It's okay," She whispered. "It's fine."

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, really short chapter, and I'm sorry for that. I already started writing chapter fourteen (and I haven't even done chapter thirteen yet!), and I think you guys will find it a whole lot more interesting then this emotional stuff. **_

_**Don't get me wrong, the emotional stuff is important in order for me to develop Kirsty and Adam's characters, but seeing as Casualty's mainly all about the drama I guess that me writing dramatic stuff is going to be better received?  
Hopefully that won't have given anything away ;D**_

_**But yeah, thanks for reading, sorry for the short-ness, and don't forget to review! **_

_**Ta guys!**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! :D  
With any luck, this chapter will be up by Monday... And chapter fourteen will be up by Saturday at the latest. I kind of want to spread them out. (:  
Enjoy this, I hope it's all right. It probably won't be a very long chapter, but hopefully the next one will.  
Let me know what you think!**_

* * *

_Tess  
_"So how is she?" I asked, trying to juggle both my phone and a couple of saucepans at the same time. It had been a long day, and unsurprisingly the majority of my thoughts were on Kirsty. We had never really seen eye to eye on things, but now I had a reason for her sometimes unusual and erratic behaviour a lot of things were explained.  
I had realised why she was often late, why she sometimes seemed disorganised, and why she pushed so hard to get patients with possible abuse cases to speak up. My mind flew back to the night when she had come back into the ED with a head injury. She told me she'd been mugged, but was reluctant to go to the police or admit that anything had been taken. As the mystery slowly unravelled in my mind, I became even more glad that I had treated her kindly that night. I could have chosen to assign her to another staff member, but fortunately my maternal side took over and I was the one to comfort her.  
"Not good." Adam replied, not having to ask who I was referring to. I had called primarily to check up on both of them, hoping that I would find them both in good states of mind. "Nita went to stay with a friend for a while. She accused Kirsty of lying to the police and making it all up so that she could leave Warren." I sighed. I myself knew how difficult teenagers could be, and I could hardly pretend to know how it felt to be in Nita's situation.  
"Well, hopefully she'll come around. How's Kirsty been since then?" There was a momentary pause, and I envisioned Adam running a worried hand through his hair.  
"She can't sleep, she won't eat. I'm worried she's becoming depressed. She hasn't even taken any pain medication. It's... It's as if she feels she should suffer." I bit my lip, trying to think of a solution.  
"Have you tried talking to her about it?"  
"Of course I have! I'm worried I might make it worse..."  
"What would make you think that?"  
"I..." He trailed off.  
"Adam, what's wrong? What happened?" I heard him sigh on the other end of the line.  
"I scared her the other day. I didn't mean to, I was just a little frustrated. She wanted to tell the police she made it all up..."  
"And did she?"  
"No, but-"  
"Then maybe scaring her was for the best in the end? I know you probably won't agree, but you and I both know that false allegations of rape is against the law. She could have walked herself straight in to prison for the sake of a confused teenager. Now how would that have helped?" He sighed again.  
"I pinned her down on the bed, Tess. She was actually _scared _of me..."  
"Adam, stop worrying! She's strong, you know that! Maybe right now that wasn't the best thing to do, but deep down she knows it's for the best. I'm sure she wants Warren gone from her life as much as we both do."  
"Yeah... You're probably right."  
"Good! Okay, well I need to go now. Will you be okay?"  
"I hope so, Tess. Bur right now I'm not so sure."

I fiddled around making spaghetti bolognese for dinner for a few more minutes, before sighing and turning the hob off.  
I knew what I had to do, so I grabbed my coat and walked out, grabbing my car keys on the way.

* * *

_Adam  
_It was about eight in the evening when the doorbell rang. I had been trying in vain to cajole an exhausted and fed up Kirsty to eat some, food, but after an hour the food had gone cold and both of us had gone hungry.  
"Fine." I had said when the doorbell rang. "I guess neither of us will eat tonight. She turned away from me, a flash of guilt wallowing in her eyes as I got up to answer the door.  
"Tess!" She gave me a hasty smile. "What are you doing here?"  
"You sounded like you could use a hand. Where's Kirsty?" I moved to let her through into the hallway.  
"In the living room... Why?"  
"I just want to talk to her. See if I can get anything out of her. I thought that maybe a woman's touch would do her some good?" I smiled gratefully, and motioned down the hall.  
"Thanks... That's very kind of you. Do you want me to stay upstairs?" She nodded, and I made my way upstairs, hoping with all my might that Tess could be the one to talk Kirsty out of her self imprisonment.

* * *

_Kirsty_  
I wasn't trying to upset or annoy Adam. I wasn't trying to starve myself, either. I just felt like I couldn't, _shouldn't_ eat if I didn't know what my own daughter was having for dinner- If anything. I'd tried to get in touch with her, unbeknownst to Adam, but she refused to answer my calls or my many texts.  
I can't say I was surprised when Tess appeared at the door to the living room. I'd figured that Adam was desperate for me to return to the land of normality and start to eat and sleep properly, and he would eventually confide in someone who would in tun attempt to talk me out of my misery.  
I was scrunched up at the corner of the sofa in the hopes that I would somehow blend into the upholstery and turn into a piece of furniture, and she walked over and motioned towards the empty space beside me.  
"May I?" I shrugged, and she took a seat next to me. For a couple of minutes, we remained in silence, causing me to shift uncomfortably. "So how are you feeling?" She glanced at my cast and the various patterns of slightly faded bruises that decorated most of the regions of my body- hence the reason all I had worn recently were long sleeved shirts and baggy trousers.  
"I'm fine, Tess. How are you?" She raised an eyebrow sceptically.  
"I'm all right, thank you. Adam said that you and Nita had an argument." I bit my tongue for a moment, torn between the pain of being reminded of my resenting daughter and frustration at Adam for telling Tess about it.  
"I wouldn't call it an argument... But yeah, she's upset at me."  
"Are you upset at her?" I shifted again. Her questions made me feel as if I was in a counsellor's office, not Adam's lounge with a colleague.  
"No... No, of course not."  
"Then how _are _you feeling?"  
"I told you, I'm _fine_." Tess put her head on one side.  
"Then why won't you eat anything?" I sighed exasperatedly.  
"I'm not hungry." As if on cue, my stomach rumbled. Of _course _I was hungry; I just didn't feel like eating. But I didn't think that Tess would like that answer very much.  
"Right. Of course you're not." She sighed. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"  
"I'm not doing-"  
"Kirsty, look at me." After a few seconds, I complied. "You," she continued. "_Can't _do this to yourself. Nita wouldn't want to see you like-" I cut her off mid sentence.  
"Nita doesn't care!" I burst out, tears immediately springing to my eyes. "All this time, I thought that if she found out she would be on my side, but she blames _me_! It's as if she's forgotten all the things I've ever done for her, every reassuring hug, every tear I've wiped away and everything I've given up for her while her precious dad was out playing a hero! And now she's gone because she presumes that if either of us were in the wrong, it would be me!" She sat back, looking a little shocked.  
"Kirsty..." She placed her hand on my shoulder, and turned me round to look at her properly. "Listen to me. Do you remember being Nita's age?" I flinched slightly. I'd had what some might call a 'colourful' childhood, and my teenage years had hardly been similar to Nita's- or had they?  
"Yeah, I guess..."  
"Then surely you remember being brash, and not understanding everything you do now? Come on Kirsty, you're a _mental health _nurse! You of all people know what it's like to be in denial, don't you?" I shrugged awkwardly.  
"So, now what? I should just _hope _Nita comes round and comes home?" She smiled reassuringly at me.  
"Yes! That's _exactly_ what you should do! Look, she _will _come back to you. You must know that?" I paused, thinking hard about it. Deep down, I _did _know that she would come around. What I was scared about as not knowing _when _she would, and whether I could hold on to nothing but hope until that time.  
"But for now," Tess continued, "Please eat something Kirsty. Me and Adam are worried about you, and look at you! You're nothing but skin and bones!" I pulled my hoodie further around my neck, trying to hide my protruding collarbone.  
"Okay... Fine." She smiled broadly at me, and leaned forward, pulling me into a hug. To be honest, that surprised me a little. After she'd patched up my head wound one time at the hospital, we'd gotten along a lot better, but we were still hardly what you would call 'friends'.  
"Good girl. Come on then, let's get you something to eat."

I don't know what it was that made what Tess said to me any different from what Adam said to me. The words were basically the same, the tone was the same, the sympathetic look painted on both their faces was practically identical.  
Maybe it was how I felt that someone other then Adam cared about me.  
Maybe that's what's important.

* * *

_**A/N: Uh... Yeah. Crappy ending, but I like to think that the rest of it was okay? Never mind, at least the chapter was longer then I'd thought it would be.**_

_**I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you thought, and have a good week! :D  
**__**Oh, and the drama's coming soon... I promise! **_


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: Okay, I'm in school at the moment, so I should probably be doing something more productive.  
**_…_**Oh well.**_

_**I can't wait for tonight's Casualty! I've been typing all afternoon because I've honestly got nothing better to do (mum's on some new sleeping pills and they appear to be doing their job. And Noah's trying to teach himself to rap.)  
Are all six year old's this weird or is it just my little brother? XD  
Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

_Adam  
_"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," I mentioned one evening as me and Kirsty relaxed on the sofa with a bottle of red wine. She regarded me with a questioning expression on her face.

"And what's that?" I leaned forward to top up her glass.

"I've been putting some calls in to a friend who owes me a favour. His name is James Sullivan."

"James Sullivan… Hang on; haven't I heard that name before? Was he a patient at the hospital?" I shook my head.

"James is a lawyer, Kirsty. Quite an esteemed one actually. He was in the news recently because he won that sexual assault case down in Poole despite having basically no evidence." She nodded slowly, taking it all in.

"He's agreed –that is, if you want it-, to take your case on. You know, if you decide to go to court with Warren. It's completely up to you." She nodded again, and we both sat in silence for a couple of minutes before she finally spoke up.

"Thank you, that's…" She struggled to find the right word, so I leaned forward and grasped her hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Don't worry; we'll get this sorted out." She smiled.

"I know we will. I've decided to get my life back on track anyway, there's no point in me moping about doing nothing is there?" I smiled back, her ever positive attitude always a light in my life.

"If you want to start getting things sorted, then that's great. I'll call James in the morning if you want, but remember that you can always take your time Kirsty. There's no rush." She squeezed my hand back, her fingers interlocking with my own. Then she leaned forward, and lightly brushed her soft lips against my own, before speaking again.

"Adam, I've only got one life." She whispered, looking deep into my eyes with her own hazel orbs. "So why should I waste it?"

* * *

_James  
_The first impression I got of Kirsty Clements was that before the incident occurred, she was a strong, confident woman. The way she walked with her shoulders squared but her head hanging told me that all of this was taking a toll on her, both physically and mentally. I jotted a couple of notes on my clipboard before reaching out to shake her and Adam's hands.

"Good morning," I greeted, with only the merest hint of cheerfulness to my tone. From past experiences I had learned that it was never a good idea to get too close to your clients.

"Hey, thanks so much for doing this." Adam spoke, stepping forward and clapping me on the shoulder. Ms. Clements remained silent, but flashed me a short and worn smile as we sat down in the leather chairs of the café we had agreed to meet in.

I hadn't seen Adam since we were both twenty and thoroughly naïve. Perhaps the only reason I had agreed to take this case –domestic abuse not being my forte-, was because deep down inside my heart I knew that I owed a big part of my life to him.

We had just gone our separate ways when it happened. He was off to medical school, and I myself was training to be a lawyer in a town two hours away from our home town. We had met sometime in secondary school, and although we were never particularly close, we still met up a couple of times for lunch and to exchange news. One time, I'd taken Millie along, my sweetheart of the day. She was beautiful, with waist long hair the colour of barley at harvest time, and cornflower blue eyes. Having only been on three or four dates, she had neglected to tell me of her severe allergy to nuts, and so when I ordered her a drink that was served with sweet hazelnut syrup, we were both in for a rather nasty shock.

To this day, I cannot decide who was more to blame- her, for not being cautious enough with her allergy, or me for taking the liberty of ordering for her whilst she was in the ladies' room. But of course, when she started coughing and spluttering a couple of minutes after consuming her beverage I was caught completely off my guard, having no medical skills to speak of. Adam however leaped into action, and may well have saved her life that day.

At first, when I had received the call from him, I felt I had no obligation to this case, and that I should have refused it with all due politeness and put the phone back on its receiver. But somewhere in the back of my mind, that memory of what he had done for Millie flashed before my eyes, and a diminutive voice told me that I owed him that much.

"I presume you must be Ms. Clements?" I asked, not because I was unsure but because I wished to draw come conversation from her lips.

"Kirsty." She replied. "Call me Kirsty." Her tone was a lot firmer and a little louder then I'd expected, but I presumed that she had put on a strong front so she could be perceived precisely in that way.

"Alright then Kirsty. What I thought we'd talk about today is the basic procedures we shall have to adhere to if you are planning to take this case to court." I handed her a copy of the domestic abuse protocol, and she glanced at it quickly before putting it down on the table before her. I suppose I could hardly blame her for not being that interested in every single little detail; firstly because it wasn't her job to be and secondly because she was painfully aware that the results of this trial could well influence how she and her daughter spent the rest of their lives.

If I failed to deliver on this case, I knew that I could effectively ruin their chances of ever leading normal lives again.  
That's a heavy weight for one man to hold on his shoulders, but as a lawyer I have found that you just have to get used to it.

"So how's Millie?" Adam asked.

"She passed away a few years ago." A slightly uncomfortable silence hung in the air for a moment.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." I wondered how many times I'd heard that before.

"It's fine. Shall we continue with this thing then?"

* * *

_Kirsty  
_The meeting with my lawyer wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it was going to be. He asked barely any questions, only noting down a few things every once in a while, and we just chatted for a while rather than him putting me and my court case in the limelight- an idea which I wasn't yet used to.

A couple of days after our meeting, I found that both me and Nita were running out of clothes. The few items I had kept in my locker were running out, and she could hardly keep wearing the same things over and over; especially not her school uniform.

If... _When _she came back, I felt that she would appreciate having some nice clean clothes to wear.

So after leaving Adam a short note, I headed out to the house me and Warren shared. I'd decided to go on my own when Adam was at work and Nita school so that I could just pop in and out without any distractions.

As it turned out, _I _couldn't even get much past the front door without being distracted. I put my key in the lock, pushed the door open, and paused as my gaze rested on a frame that sat on the table beside the door. It was made of pine wood, and stuck to it in messy globs of white glue were pasta shapes, numerous sprinklings of disorganised confetti, and tiny paper hearts. It was a standard mother's day present that a five year old Nita had made me in school, and in it was a photograph of me and Warren, grinning at the camera with unconditional love in our eyes.

Somehow, since that day a few years back, the love that had once roared in our hearts with all the ferocity of a fire had diminished to barely resemble the tiny flicker of a candle. As much of a cliché as that sounds, my fist still clenched around the photo frame as I lifted it to my face to look at the picture my closely. Going through to the kitchen, I slipped the memory from its hold and, after placing the treasured gift on to the kitchen counter, dropped the photo into the bin, shutting the lid on it once and for all. I ignored the vision that was starting to crop up in the recesses of my mind, and made my way upstairs to the bedroom.

* * *

_James  
_"Damn it... Come on, pick up..." I muttered furiously as I punched the numbers into my blackberry once again. "God damn it, don't do this to me..." Rage and a slight hint of fear flowed angrily through my veins. According to my notes, somebody should have been home at that point.  
"Hi, this is Adam. I'm not home right now, so please leave your name and phone number after the beep, and I'll get back to you when I can. Thanks." I sighed, and decided to leave a message on his answer machine.

* * *

_Kirsty  
_It only took a few minutes for me to gather armfuls of clothes for both me and Nita. I also grabbed some toiletries -I could hardly expect my teenage daughter to shower using Lynx shower gel- and a few other things that I felt we couldn't really leech off of Adam any longer.

I had my back turned to the door as I rooted through my chest of drawers, yanking out various items in a rush to get back to Adam's. I didn't hear the elongated, shuffling footsteps on the stairs, nor the door as it creaked open.  
What I _did _hear, however was enough to send an icy chill straight through my heart and into my lungs.  
"Hi honey," His smooth, dangerous voice cut through the air, and I spun round. My wide, frightened eyes landed on his daunting smile. "I'm home!"

* * *

_Adam  
_Every metre that I became closer to my home, my heart lightened a little more. My shift in the ED had been an absolute nightmare; luckily I hadn't lost any patients but I'd barely had a moment to catch my breath all day. We were short staffed, so I had to work through my lunch break to make up for it.

I let myself in through my front door, walked through to the kitchen and picked up the short, hastily scribbled note resting on the table.

_Adam,  
Just gone home to pick me and Nita up some more clothes. Won't be long, and I'll pick up dinner on the way home. Pizza okay? :)  
Love Kirsty xx  
__P.S- Stop worrying, I'll be fine!_

I smiled, and paused as my hand hovered over the bin, before instead deciding to pocket the note. I headed upstairs to shower and change, taking my time so I could unwind after my trying day.

Of course, that meant I didn't listen to the slightly panicked message on my answer phone until a good half hour after I got home.

"Adam," It began. "This is James Sullivan. Listen, I don't know how to tell you this, but it seems that Warren was released on bail about an hour ago. I had no idea there was even a hearing; if I had I would have been there!" My mouth was hanging wide open as the shock set in, a blinding, burning panic that flashed in front of my eyes and settled in my stomach.

I didn't even bother listening to the rest of the message; instead, I started to run. Faster then I'd ever run before. After glancing at my watch, I'd realised that I would be very lucky to get to Kirsty's old home in time- that is, if I wasn't already too late.

So, I ran. I ran for _her_.

And I prayed that I would get there before something horrible happened.

* * *

**_A/N: *dramatic gasp* Yeah, so I'm gonna leave it there... Please don't hate me too much!_**

**_You've probably noticed this, but I left more gaps between the lines on this chapter. I personally think it makes it look a little clearer like this, but what do you guys all think? I might keep doing it, but if it makes it harder to read or something I won't do it again. Let me know (:  
Thanks for reading, and I'm gonna be really annoying and remind you to press the little 'review' button and tell me what an evil person I am for leaving it on a cliff hanger! XD _**


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! Sorry I left you guys with such a cliff hanger last time ;D  
I hope this makes up for it. I'm going to try and make it long, but I should warn you that this chapter will be sensitive and pretty intense. If you have issues with any of the stuff in this chapter, I'd recommend you don't read it. Or you could go see a counsellor. Either works for me- as long as you enjoy it of course  
Also, being fifteen, I don't know a huge amount about the British legal system. I don't know if it is at all possible for a prisoner to be released on bail without the defendant's lawyer being present. I doubt it is, but if Kirsty's lawyer HAD known then that would make this chapter relatively boring. So yeah, if you're awesome enough to review *hint hint*, please don't comment on that.  
Oh, and we're back to third person! For the first time in... Fourteen chapters is it?  
Anyway, enjoy!**_

* * *

Kirsty stepped backwards warily, panic taking hold of her expression.

"Warren! Where did you come from? Why aren't you in prison?" He smiled menacingly.

"Oh, well that's a nice way to be welcomed home!" He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms before continuing. "I was released about an hour ago. Seems your lawyer didn't even have the guts to show up."

"What? How?" Kirsty's voice was laced with dread, and a thin layer of sweat started to break out over her pale skin. Warren ignored her questions.

"So, how've you been?" She laughed incredulously; He'd just been released from jail on a charge for both sexual _and _physical abuse towards her... And he was asking after her health?

"Warren, I think you should leave."

"Why? What's the rush?" He took a step towards his terrified wife. "Is Adam coming here?" She shook her head as she pressed her back against the wall of the bedroom, shrinking back as much as possible in the hopes that it would swallow her.

"No! Warren, you have to stop doing this! You're not allowed to come near me; isn't that one of the terms for your bail?"

"Oh, so I'm not allowed in my own _home _now am I?"

"Warren, I mean it, you-"

"SHUT _UP_!" He roared, causing her to flinch and bring her hands up to cover her face in an attempt to protect herself. "Come 'ere." He growled angrily, his accent growing thicker.

"Warren, don't come near me! You _can't _come near me!" She half begged. He ignored this, limping forward and grabbing her by the hair. She screamed in protest and tried to wriggle out of his grip as he dragged her closer towards him. She kicked him hard in the shin, and he yelled in pain, grabbing a lamp from the bedside table and yanking it from its socket.

"Stop it! Let go of me, Warren!" She screamed as he raised it as high as his stiff limbs could possible manage, and growling in anger, smashed it down over her head.

As her eyes drifted shut, he pulled her around in his arms, and laid her -almost gently- down on the bed.

* * *

_Kirsty  
_"Ugh..." I groaned as I opened my eyes and raised my head groggily. My vision was blurry, and for a few seconds my mind raced to search for the cause of my impaired vision and the stabbing head pain that had erupted all over the top of my head. I tried to sit up, to move my hands, but something was preventing me from doing so.

"Evenin', _love._" My eyes snapped open again as I heard his low, scratchy voice. Suddenly, I became more aware of my surroundings. My jacket had been removed, and my jeans were halfway down my legs. My arms were tied to the bed posts, and _he _was pressing down on my legs to prevent me from moving. I felt like throwing up; Surely he hadn't...? "Oh, don't worry, I thought I'd wait for you to wake up before we had some fun together. Haven't had too long to wait though. You weren't out for long." I choked out a sob at his condemning words.

"N-no... Please!" He crawled up on to the bed, pinning me down and glaring into my face.

"My lawyer," He hissed. "Has informed me that should I be sentenced, I will most likely be facing a life sentence in prison. So," He sat back on his heels, and pulled my underwear down to join my jeans, eliciting a fresh sob from my throat. "Could very well be the last chance I get." I turned my head from the side as tears streamed down my sides.

My fate, it seemed, was sealed.

* * *

_Adam  
_I was never a great runner. When we had to do track in school, I took a shortcut and earned myself a detention for it.

But when I thought Kirsty was in danger, I ran faster and harder then I'd ever done so before. My chest was burning and my eyes were running from the bitter wind, but I didn't care. I just willed with every last fibre in my body that I wouldn't be too late.

* * *

_Kirsty  
_"Stop screaming!" He yelled, spit spraying me in the face. I flinched away, panting and sobbing desperately.

"Please, stop!" I begged. He laughed, and dug himself further into me. I screamed again, and he slapped me, hard, around the face.

* * *

_Adam  
_I hammered my fist on the front door, flushed and gasping for breath.

"Come on," I growled. "If you don't open up I'm coming in..." I waited for a minute or so, before slamming my body against the door. "Warren!" I shouted as loud as I could. "Open up the fucking door!"

* * *

_Kirsty  
_We both heard the loud pounding on the door, and Adam's shouts. Warren looked up, shocked, while relied partly flooded my system.

"How does he know we're here?" He hissed, shaking me by the shoulders. "_How_?" I cried out in pain as he pulled out of me, yanking his boxers and trousers up.

"Please, untie me!" I sobbed. He looked around with wild eyes as I tugged on my bonds, wriggling desperately. There was a sudden crash, and some of the weight lifted off my heart as I realised that Adam had broken the door down. Warren shoved the window open.

"Come here, you" he growled, and leaping forward, he wrapped an arm around my waist, and quickly pulled on the knots, releasing the bounds tying me to the bed.

"No! Please!" I cried as he pulled me up, as the sound of rushed feet pounding up the stairs became heard. He pulled me towards the window, and tried to push me through the frame to drop on to the ground below. A last ounce of defiance arose from my gut; a last surge of my adrenaline levels kicked in, and I struggled violently in his hold, catching him hard with my cast in a rather unfortunate -unfortunate for _him_- place. He yelled in pain, and dropped me on to the dresser, eliciting a yelp of pain as my side cracked against the corner and rolled to the carpet, just as my saviour burst through the door.

* * *

_Adam  
_"Come here!" I yelled as I launched myself at Warren. He staggered backwards as I landed a fist to his stomach, watching satisfactorily as he doubled over from the pain. I punched him again and again; blinded by a hot, white rage, refusing to stop until a weak voice made itself heard.

"Adam, stop..." I froze, my fist raised and ready to strike again. My victim was barely conscious, and blood ran freely from his nose and a cut just above his eye. I released my grip on him, allowing him to fall to the floor, before turning to the limp figure by my feet.

"Kirsty..." I kneeled down beside her, reaching up to the bed covers and pulling down a spare blanket to cover her bare midriff and legs. I wrapped it around her, and lifted her up on to the bed, placing a hand to her slightly feverish forehead and pushing a couple of curls back from her face.

"H-Help me" She choked out, as I searched through her brunette curls to find the gash that I presumed was the source of the blood that seemed to be everywhere, pooling underneath her position on the floor.

"It's okay Kirsty, I'm here. Can you open your eyes for me sweetheart?" She did as I asked, and I looked closely into them for signs of a bad head injury.

"Adam, it hurts!" She murmured weakly.

"I know, I know. Just hold on for a second, I'm gonna go call for an ambulance.

"No!" She sobbed. "Don't leave me here with _him_!" I sighed.

"Kirst, we need to..." I trailed off as I saw the pleading look in her eyes. "Okay, can you stand up?" I put my arm around her and gripped the blanket around her waist, before helping her to stand and walk her towards the door. She stumbled, and I leaned to catch her and lift her into my arms.

"I'm sorry!" She sobbed. I stared down at her -so unlike the Kirsty I knew-, and carried her outside to the hallway, where I'd seen a phone hanging on the wall on my dash up the stairs.

"Ssh, don't say you're sorry. I'm gonna call for an ambulance now Kirst. It's okay." I talked her through everything, simply because I felt that she needed to know that everything was under control. That _she _could control it.

"It's okay... It's okay..." She echoed. I looked up at her, biting down on my lip in worry.

"Sweetheart, do you know where you are? Can you tell me your name?"

"It's okay..." I was severely beginning to regret not calling the police before rushing to their house. I heard a loud groan coming from the bedroom. Warren was presumably regaining consciousness, meaning that I needed both the police and the ambulance to hurry up.

"It's okay" I whispered into her ear, kissing her on the cheek. "It's all right, it'll all be over soon."

_When I was a boy, I went to a school under the Catholic Church. I forced myself to learn and recite the prayers and psalms, to seal them into my brain, and act like I was a 'good, Christian boy'.  
In retrospect, I should probably just have come clean about the truth: I didn't believe in a God of any description. I felt it impossible to admit my wrongdoings to someone whom I was almost certain was fictitious; someone who supposedly allowed small children to suffer and innocent people to die. _

_Sometimes, I found it difficult to explain to people why I felt that way, but as I watched the girl I love in pure limbic agony, writing from the pain of the torture she'd just experienced, I realised that **she **was all the explanation I needed._

* * *

**_A/N: *GASP*! Adam swore!  
Okay, I know this is a bad place in the story for this to happen but I'm going away for a week or so. Mum's gone back into hospital and me and Noah are going with her because she's quite poorly._**

**_So please, review. I'm not sure what the outcome of this hospital stay will be- hopefully she'll recover, but she may have to stay in for a while.  
Ergo, I would really appreciate coming home and finding a whole bundle of reviews waiting for me.  
C'mon, make me happy eh?_**

**_'If you're going through hell, keep going.' ~Winston Churchill~ _**


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: Okay, I know you guys aren't gonna like me very much, but I'm only posting one more chapter to this story. I've kinda lost interest :S Which I know is bad, but I don't see the point of writing something if it's not what I want to do.  
You only live once!  
I was going to do a series of court events after Kirsty had recovered slightly, after which Warren received a long prison sentence.  
**__**So... Yeah.  
Read the last chapter, and you'll hopefully enjoy it (: And sorry again.**_

_**Kaia**_


	17. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**  
For a long time after Warren's sentence, time stood still. I stopped going to work, Nita stopped going to school- and neither of us had any wish to communicate with the outside world. I cried every night, screamed into the pillow and didn't care if anyone heard, because I knew that next door my daughter would be doing the exact same thing. There was nothing either of us could say that could make it any easier; we just had to keep on fighting to get through the dark times _

_Then one day, we ran out of Nita's favourite cereal, so I went shopping for some more. That same evening, all three of us sat down to watch a program on TV together, and found ourselves laughing at all the little jokes. Adam took me out for dinner, and just before we left Nita gave me a big hug, grinning from ear to ear, as if she knew something I didn't.  
"So, what's the occasion?" I asked, sipping my red wine. He gave me one of his most charming smiles.  
"Do I really need an occasion to take you out for a nice meal?" I laughed, swirling the red liquid around in my glass.  
"Well, when the alcohol costs four times the price it should you kinda need an excuse to drink it." He reached across the table, and took my hand.  
"Now you mention it, there _is _something I've been wanting to talk to you about..." I put my head on one side inquisitively, shooting him a questioning look.  
"Well go on then, spit it out." He laughed at my outward personality.  
"Alright then, if you insist. Kirsty, I just want you to know that I care so much about you. What I'm about to say will probably sound really clichéd, but I want you to know that I mean every word.  
"Every time I close my eyes I see your beautiful face, because nothing else would ever be enough for me. If I could dream about one thing for the rest of my life, it would be you. Your laugh, your smile, your personality- everything, and I'd go to the ends of the Earth and back for you." I didn't know what to say, so I just sat there staring straight at them with a surprised look on my face.  
"I know these past few months have been difficult for us both, and you have been so remarkably strong... You've battled through most of the fight, but you're not completely at the finish line yet. You know it, I know it. Even Nita knows it. You need someone to pull you the rest of the way, to carry you if you get too tired, and to support you. And more then anything I've ever wanted before, I want to be that someone. I want to be the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning, I want to be the last thing you smile at before you close your eyes to go to sleep at night. I want us to grow old together, and to live out our last days in each others' presence. I want to be your rock, Kirsty." He knelt in front of me, taking my hands in his. Even at that point, my confused mind had no idea what he was getting at. It was all very overwhelming, but my heart sang at his adoring words. He slipped his hand into his pocket, and withdrew a small velvet coated box, royal blue in colour.  
"I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I love you Kirst. With all my heart and soul. And although it's taken me a lot of consideration, I have realised that we're finally ready to face the world... Together. So, Kirsty, will you marry me?" Tears of joy sprang to my eyes, and I put a shocked hand over my mouth as he opened the box to display an absolutely gorgeous ring. It looked as if it were pure silver, with a glittering crystal in the centre and deep blue stones framing it around the outside.  
"Adam..." I whispered, squeezing his hand. "Adam, yes! Yes! Of course I will!" He slid the ring onto my finger, grinning like a mad thing, and got to his feet, taking me in his arms and pressing his lips against mine in a passionate, gentle kiss. For the first time in months, no image of Warren sprang into my head at that moment, no guilty emotions chewed through my soul, and no pain arose from the pit of my stomach.  
I was happy._

_And that's when I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that everything was going to be okay._

**The End.**


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